Turk Teacher Conferences
by AmazonTurk
Summary: The road to successful learning begins at home. The Turk Spawn show their parents around the ShinRa Educational Facility, introduce them to their teachers and await the dreaded meeting with the Principal. Are Turk kids REALLY that prone to violence?
1. The Letter

**_A/N: I know, I know. Niki-chan is still blown up. With no pulse. And Xigbar gave Shelke crabs (snickers uncontrollably). But I have writer's block. I was promoted at work to sale's assistant and I've been puking my guts up being sick. Happy mental image? Good! Feel my pain. Anyway, me and the girls (aka MysticSpiritus and dantesdarkqueen) have been discussing doing this for awhile. I'll be doing Kandi and Reno...uh, writing their chapters, I mean. Queen will take Akalara and Mystic gets Nilto and Randak. As for Rufus and Tseng, I think I'll let those two dish that out. (smirk) Being The Bosslady has it's advantages. First things first...The Letter._**

**_Disclaimer: Not mine. Sorry. Wish is was. But it's not._**

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_Dear Parent(s):_

_This Thursday evening, the ShinRa Educational Facility will be hosting it's semi-annual parent/teacher conferences. Our staff of educators will be available from 6 p.m. - 9 p.m. to meet with you and discuss your child(ren)'s academic progress. Though your participation in this event is not mandatory, we here at the ShinRa Educational Facility feel that it would be in your best interests to become more involved with your child(ren)'s educational career. Remember, the road to successful learning begins at home._

_We look forward to seeing you Thursday evening._

_Sincerely,_

_Principal Torvis_

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**_A/N: Onward..._**


	2. Kandi and Andria

_**A/N: Up first, my little fuck up, Kandi.**_

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but my underwear. Oops! Not wearing any. Sorry._**

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"Hey Mom." 

"Hey Spawn," Kandi said flipping through the songs on her iPod until she found one that she wanted, smiling as it blasted through the speakers of her car. "How was school?"

"S'ok, I guess," Andria replied, handing her mother a piece of paper. "Got parent/teacher conferences tonight, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah, shit, yeah," she grumbled, pulling away from Tifa's bar. "All the other Turk's with kids have 'em, too."

"Oh fun," Andria said with a giggle. "School's gonna turn into a war zone. Especially when Aunt Ak get's there. Az got in another fight today."

"Damn," Kandi cursed, turning into her and Andria's favorite Wutain place. "Those little bastard's still talking shit about Seph?"

"Yeah," Andria said, scratching her nose. "Uh, just so you know, the principal will probably want to talk to you about that."

Kandi put the car in park and looked over at her daughter with an arched eyebrow. "Why?"

"Uh, because Az is a gentleman and won't hit girls so...me and Axys...did it for him?" she answered sheepishly.

"Oh, sweet ass!" Kandi exclaimed, high fiving her daughter. "That's my girl!"

"You're not mad?" Andria asked as they climbed out of the car and headed inside for some of the best sushi in Edge.

"Hell no," Kandi told her, draping her arm around her daughter's shoulders. "Andria, you guys are in the right. Stand up for what you believe in, Babe. You do that, I'll back you up one-hundred percent, every damn time. I'm proud of you."

Andria beamed. "Thanks, Mom."

Kandi smirked. "Anytime," she said as they sat down at the sushi bar. "So, what should I wear tonight? Responsible parent clothes or assassin gear?"

Andria grinned, tapping her finger to her cheek. "Hmm, we shall see when we get home."

* * *

Andria smirked as she led her mother into her school. Only her closest friends knew who her mom was; the rest of the little elementary minions had no clue. While her peers were escorting men and women in business suits and long pencil skirts and heels through the halls, Andria led a young, hip chick in ripped jeans with clanging chains, combat boots, black band t-shirt with the Organization XIII logo plastered on it (gift from the band; all the Turk babes had at least one) and fingerless fishnet gloves over which she wore her black leather jacket. Red-streaked hair was done in it's usual bed-head fashion and black eyeliner lined large brown eyes. And the diamond stud in her nose sparkled under the flourescent lights of the school. 

"I think I'm underdressed, Babe," Kandi said with a grin, glaring down a mother who stared at her like a circus freak. The Turk flipped her off as she followed her daughter down the hall, snickering at the huff of indignation she received. "Not that I mind. Half these people look like their virginity grew back."

"If they even lost it to begin with," Andria scoffed, stopping at her locker. "Okay, so this is my locker." She opened it, revealing a very organized collection of textbooks, binders, and notebooks. All the textbooks were arranged alphabetically. Her pen holder was held against the door on a magnet, all of her pens and pencils sorted by color and lead type. She had a picture of her and Kandi taped above it next to a picture of her and her friends, various other pictures of her friends situated perfectly against the door.

"Whoa," Kandi said, running her hand over the books. "You're a little...anal, Andi."

"I prefer meticulous," Andria replied with a smile, closing her locker gently. "Anal indicates that I would have a problem socially, which I don't."

"Freak."

Andria turned around and glared at a little girl with perfect blond curls and big blue eyes. Kandi cocked her head and stared at the perfect child, thinking she was quite possibly the best target practice she'd ever seen.

"Courtney," Andria said with an evil smile.

'Courtney' grabbed the hand of a woman in a silver business suit. "Mommy, that's the girl who blew me up," she pouted. "She's always very mean to me."

The woman stared hard at Andria then turned her gaze to Kandi. "Do you have any idea of the trama my daughter's has endured from your...child?" she asked harshly.

Kandi stuck her hands in her pockets and gave a crooked grin. "Nope," she answered with a shrug. "No clue."

"She constantly taunts her, pulls her hair and blows things up in her face in chemistry," she hissed.

Kandi looked down at Andria, amusement twinkling in her eyes. "That true?" she asked.

"Nope," Andria answered, crossing her arms over her chest. "Well, the last part is. The first two, she does to me. I blew the experiment up in her face to get her back. If you'll notice, those perfect little eyebrows are...penciled in."

"Ah," Kandi said, nodding in understanding. "So...you're even now?"

"Unless she opts to do something else to me," Andria said.

Courtney stepped forward. "You are a science experiment _freak_!" she hissed. She pointed to Kandi. "_She's_ not even your real mother."

"Oh, she's adopted?" the mother said with disdain. "That explains everything."

Kandi glared at her. "Actually, Andria is my biological child," she snarled. "I'm her father."

Courtney's mother's mouth dropped open. "You...had a _sex change_?" the woman whispered the last two words like she was bringing about the apocalypse.

"No," Kandi smirked, cocking her head to the side. "I knocked a guy up. Ever do that? It's a real ego boost."

The woman grabbed Courtney's hand and took off down the hall followed by laughter. "That was great, Mom," Andria grinned. "I hate that little bitch."

"Little pageant queen," Kandi spat out. "She'll get knocked up as soon as she gets her period."

Andria took Kandi's hand and led her down the hall a little ways. She pulled her into the science lab. "This is my favorite class," Andria said excitedly going over to a work station. She took a key out of her pocket and opened a cabinet underneath it. "Mr. Becker let's me store my things in here," she explained pulling out a tray with beakers, test tubes and viles of chemicals. "I actually come in here during lunch sometimes and work on things."

Kandi eyed the equipment warily. "What kind of things?" she asked, examining a tube.

Andria blushed as she put on her safety glasses and handed a pair to her mom. "I'm actually trying to recreate the substance that created me," she said shyly, turning on the gas and lighting a bunsen burner. "I wish I had a sample of it. It would make the process much easier."

"The Green Sludge?" Kandi asked, sniffing a tube of something yellow and coughing.

"MOM!" Andria exclaimed taking it from her. She waved her hand over the tube and breathed in shallowly. "You're supposed to waft it, not inhale it. That's dangerous."

"Sorry."

"Ah, Andria," came a pleasant male voice. "Glad you could make it."

Andria beamed at what could only be her favorite teacher. "Hi, Mr. Becker!" she exclaimed rushing over to hug him. She grabbed his hand and led him over to her mom. "Mr. Becker, this is my mom."

"Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Fair," he said with a smile.

Kandi snorted. "Uh, my name's Kandi," she said with a grin. "Andria's...father and I never married. He died shortly after she was born."

"My condolences," Mr. Becker said sincerely. He patted Andria on the head. "You have an exceptionally bright daughter, Kandi."

"Yeah, I know," the Turk said proudly. "She's a great kid."

"She is very interested in the field of science," he continued. "Have you considered letting her go to Science Camp?"

Kandi looked down at Andria, who looked up at her pleadingly. "If she wants to, I have no problem with it," she answered. "My daughter is free to chose her own path in life. If science makes her happy, that's great. I'll support her in anything she does."

Andria rubbed her hands together. "Excellent," she said in a creepy voice. "My plans for world domination will now come to fruition!"

Mr. Becker laughed. "Just remember your friends and mentors, Andria," he said. He extended his hand out to Kandi. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Kandi. And it is a pleasure to have such a gifted student in my class."

"Likewise," Kandi said, watching as the teacher greeted more parents. Andria started cleaning up her equipment and putting it back in the cabinet. "If you want, I'll see what I can do about getting you on as a summer study in the labs at ShinRa."

Andria hit her head on the counter rising to her feet so fast. "Ow," she said, rubbing the knot. "Really? Is that possible?"

"I don't see why not," she said. "I mean, I work there. They don't do anything unethical anymore and if you're interested in all this science stuff, I want you to do all that you can."

Andria hugged her fiercely. "You are the coolest!" she squealed.

"Yeah, I know," Kandi said with a grin and hugging her back. She checked her watch. "Come on. Let's go meet with your principal and see if we can't find the others."

* * *

Principal Torvis pushed the glasses back up his nose as he stared at the woman coming into his office. "Ms. uh...Fair?" he asked, rising to his feet. 

Kandi shook her head. "Just Kandi," she said with a smile, extending her hand. "Nice to meet you, Principal Torvis."

"Likewise," he answered with a pleasant smile, gesturing to a seat across from his desk. "I'm very glad you could make it tonight. Has Andria showed your around the school?"

"Yeah, pretty much," she answered, resting her right foot on her left knee. "We pretty much have been hanging out in the science lab."

"Ah, yes," the principal laughed. "Andria is one of our brightest science students here at the ShinRa Educational Facility. We have high aspirations for her."

"Cool."

The bald man looked at her oddly. "Yes, quite," he said. Clearing his throat he continued. "However, her promise does merit a bit of concern. She is very knowledgable of certain...combinations of chemicals that can be quite...distructive. In an incident earlier this week, she caused an experiment to explode in another student's face."

"Even the brightest make mistakes," Kandi told him with a warm smile, challenge lighting in her eyes. "After all, there is always the margin of human error. Perhaps this other student was distracting Andria during the measuring process, causing her to add a bit more of a certain substance than the formula required." She propped her foot up on the principal's desk and smirked. "And, of course, there is the fact that Andria _is_ only eight."

"True that may be, her situation is a bit unique, given the upbringing she received during the first part of her life," Principal Torvis said. "Being exposed to Deepground may have made her more acclimated to violence then most other children her age. Also, considering your line of work..."

Kandi's eyebrow went up at that as she continued staring at the bald man.

Principal Torvis cleared his throat again. "And then there is the fact that she was involved in a fist fight just today," he continued. "She assaulted several girls in a conflict concerning Azrael Forrest, along with her friend Axys."

"Ah, that also goes back to my line of work, Principal," Kandi said, dropping her foot back down to the floor and leaning forward menacingly. "Turks watch out for their own. Loyalty, dedication. It comes with the job. And I'm proud that my daughter has adopted that aspect of my lifestyle into her own life."

"Violence is not something we permit at this facility, Ms. er, Kandi," he told her.

"But bullying is?" she countered. "It is of my understanding, from speaking with my daughter as well as Azrael and his mother, that these children have been singling Azrael out based on his idolization of Sephiroth. Also, my own daughter, just tonight was called a 'science experiment freak', while myself and this child's mother were standing right there. I do not take kindly to the riducule of my daughter or her friends, and if violence breaks out, so be it. Perhaps the administration should do more to curb the tongues of the wayward spawn starting the conflict. My daughter, to my knowledge, has never started anything." She smirked and sat back in her chair again. "She simply finishes it."

"But, Ms. er, Kandi..."

"Is Andria in jeopardy of failing any classes?" Kandi asked.

Principal Torvis sat back, shocked. "N-no," he stammered. "She has a 4.0 grade point average."

"How about Azrael and Axys?" she asked. "Are they failing?"

"I am not at liberty to discuss their grades with you, I'm sorry," he answered.

"That's fine," she said with a smile. "Besides, I know they are doing good, too. So, you are basically singling these kids out as violent, troublemakers because their parents happen to be Turks."

"No, I'm not," he replied hastily. "I'm just saying that they may be more prone to violence considering their parents choice of career."

"You just made what I said more PC, Principal Torvis," she smirked. "How proactive of you."

Principal Torvis shook his head and chuckled. "So it seems I did," he said. "My apologies, Kandi."

"Of course," she said with a smile. "All I ask is for my daughter to be treated fairly. I don't want her treated differently, I don't want her to have any special considerations. Anything she does, I want her to earn it for herself. However," she added with a cold look that sent chills up the principal's spine. "If she is discriminated against again, you will discover just how very good I am at my questionable profession, Principal Torvis. Do we have an understanding?"

"A crystal clear understanding," Principal Torvis said swallowing hard.

"Good," she said, rising to her feet and extending her hand. "A pleasure meeting you. Feel free to call me with any questions or concerns you may have regarding my daughter. Have a pleasant evening, Sir."

Principal Torvis collapsed in his chair, shaking hands reaching for the antacid tablets in his drawer. One Turk child down, four to go. And then, sweet Ramuh, the president's son.

Glancing at his calendar, he sighed in despair. Still ten years and six months to retirement. He just prayed he lasted that long.

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_**A/N: Heh heh...I don't know whose next yet. Poor Principal Torvis. He may not make it through the night! Review please!**_


	3. Akalara and Azrael

**_A/N from AT: This chapter is by the wickedly talented and ever enjoyable, dantesdarkqueen. I have made no changes...except for this A/N. And one minor detail. By the way, change in plans. I will NOT be writing Reno and Axys. That is going to dantesdarkqueen. I will, instead, be writing Tseng and Paulo. Mystic will write Nilto, Randak and Kaya as well as Rufus and Bryce. Enjoy!_**

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**Summary: **Parent-teacher night. Normally, this is every kid's nightmare anyway, as well as their chance to impress their parents. But how do things go over when you're the biggest target in the school and your mother happens to be a Turk...? 

**Disclaimer: **Az is mine, Ak's mine, most of these OCs are mine. Ethan and his mom, however, are up for sale. Any offers?

**Queen's Quornor: **I've been looking forward to this for a few months now, since Amazon and I came up with the concept. Finding out that our buddy Mystic will be collaborating with us was a most pleasant surprise; she's an awesome writer too. I've already set the stage for Azrael's PTN with "Never Be Ashamed," but it is now time to elaborate on just how bad his life at the Shinra Educational Facility can be. And do you really think Akalara is going to let such behavior slide, when her son is the target? If you think she is, obviously you don't know the Green Bitch very well...

The Bitch and Her Spawn

"So who do you want me to meet tonight, Az?"

"Mrs. Breize and Mr. Yarll. They're my music and creative writing teachers."

"That's it? No science? No language? No P.E.?"

"Mr. Becker's going to be tied up with Andi, Reno's going to be busy with Mrs. Tsubasa because Axys has been cussing out and insulting kids in Wutaian, and all Mr. Paiyne will do if you meet him will be stare at your chest."

"And your math teacher?"

"Mom, there's no need to meet with her. I know more about math than she does."

For all intents and purposes, they were just like all the other parents and children in the Shinra Educational Facility that night. The proud, somewhat apprehensive son leading his mother along the hallway, pointing out various landmarks with his free hand. The smiling mother, teasing information out of her child about his life in the school, allowing herself to be led along by a person only half her size.

But there the resemblence stopped.

Unlike any other child roaming the halls, this particular boy had shoulder-length silver hair highlighted by white strands, and eyes the color of ripe cranberries with the faintest glow in their depths. His mother bore the same eyes, albeit with a stronger glow, but her hair, trailing over her shoulders to brush the tops of her breasts, was a deep shade of forest-green. Unlike a certain friend of hers, whom she fully expected to see at some point during the night, she was dressed in black dress slacks and a matching jacket, a white tank top covering her torso. What set her apart from the rest of the similarly-garbed mothers was a silver chain hanging around her neck, a small katana pendant resting against her chest. Her son wore a matching necklace, a private symbol of somebody they both cared about who was not with them tonight.

What nobody could see were the twin 9mms (her usual guns, a pair of .44 magnums, were too bulky to be concealed by this outfit) hidden beneath the jacket, or the custom-made kunai strapped to her sides. This woman was a Turk, and she had learned long before her association with that group that going anywhere without some sort of weapon could mean the difference between life and death.

"I guess I should start with my locker." Azrael walked to the row of blue lockers lining the wall, and spun the lock on number 169B, opening it up so his mother could see what he had in there.

Akalara chuckled, seeing how many pictures of Sephiroth and Zack were stuck onto the door. There was a group shot of her son with his friends, a photobooth strip of her and Azrael making faces at the camera, and another of the Turk Spawn with their various parents. There was one photo of her and Sephiroth, placed strategically in the center of the door.

"I had wondered where that one had gone," she said, tapping the oldest photograph on the door.

Azrael didn't look at his mother, but she could see the smile playing about his lips. "I swiped it. Do you mind, Mom?"

"Not at all. I wish you had asked, though. I would have given it to you." She ran one green-polished finger across the textbooks, notebooks, and binders occupying the shelf. "Did you organize these according to your class schedule?"

The silver-haired boy shrugged, smiling happily.

Then he stumbled into her side as the door to his locker was slammed against his back.

Akalara looked up sharply, cranberry eyes catching sight of a small boy with black hair racing down the hallway, laughing the entire way. Azrael felt his mother tense and levered himself off of her, looking up into her face. "Mom, don't," he pleaded. "That's Nalmir Rilith. He does that every day."

"And you put up with his shit?" She hadn't stopped glaring at the spot where the culprit had disappeared around the corner.

"No. I get him back in spades." Azrael closed his locker quietly. "In fact, the principal might mention something about a cherry bomb going off in the toilet while Nalmir was sitting on it last Thursday."

The green-haired woman laughed. "That's my son!"

He tugged at her hand. "C'mon, Mom. My music class is just down here!" As he led her down the hall, the Turk noticed just how many kids were sneering at her son, how many were whispering to their parents as he passed. More than once, she saw the word 'freak' mouthed to his back.

Akalara had a thing against killing children, but she was perfectly willing to relinquish that part of her moral code for the night in exchange for a pair of machine guns and two thousand rounds of ammo right about now.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Mrs. Breize was a pretty blond woman with black glasses, and looked no older than twenty. She politely broke off her conversation with another student and her father, then came over to greet Akalara and Azrael as soon as they walked into the room, a welcoming smile on her face. "I was hoping I would see you, Azrael. I would've been very upset if my favorite student had not come to say 'hello'."

"I told you I'd come see you, Mrs. Breize." Azrael looked up at his mother, smiling. "Mom, this is my music teacher."

"Ms. Forrest, I presume?" Akalara nodded, allowing the blond to shake her hand in greeting. "Your son is, without a doubt, the best student I have seen in a long time. He is an excellent tenor, and is very good with a guitar. Have you considered music lessons for him?"

"Actually, I hadn't. He always led me to believe that he preferred science to music." She smiled down at him, her cranberry eyes mischeivious. "But I will pay for lessons, if he wants them."

"He and two other students, Andria Fair and Axys Sinclair, have been discussing the possibility of starting a band in a few years," Mrs. Breize gushed. "Andria would be lead vocals, Azrael would be guitar and backup vocals, and Axys has claimed drums. For what they have in mind, though, they will need a bass player and a keyboard player."

Akalara chuckled. "Where are you getting all this talent, Az? It's certainly not from me!"

"Mooommmm!" Azrael mock-whined, hiding his face against her side.

The green-haired woman laughed again and playfully ruffled his hair. "It's ok. I know you get it from your father."

"His father must have been quite a musician, then." Mrs. Breize smiled down at the silver-haired boy. "What was his name? Perhaps I've heard of him."

"Oh, he wasn't a singer. He did have a hidden talent for it, though." Akalara smiled in memory. "He could sing the best unaccompanied impression of the Deaf Cheetahs I have ever heard."

"Well, if you decide you want music lessons, Azrael, I know several good teachers." The blond looked innocent. "Laseedra Vaneth, for example, gives good rates on her off-season..."

"You know Laseedra Vaneth?! Of Ephemeral?!" the silver-haired boy exclaimed, staring up at his teacher in shock.

"I used to date her brother. She and I are close friends, and she's good vocal instructor. That's how she funded her band, in fact, before Ephemeral got their record deal." Mrs. Breize frowned. "Though, I don't know any truly good guitar teachers. You're on your own for that one, Ms. Forrest."

"Oh, I think I can talk somebody into it." Akalara smiled, remembering Kai's bragging about how good a music teacher Zexion could be. She'd have to ask him about it. "Well, we must be off. We have another teacher to meet with."

"Of course. It was nice to meet you, Ms. Forrest."

"A band, huh?" Akalara commented casually as they walked out of the music room. "What happened to your plans about becoming a mercenary?"

"Good plan, isn't it?" Azrael smiled up at her, squeezing her hand tightly in his own. "What better cover for a swordsman than a guitar player in a rock band?"

"About as ingenius as an assassin who doubles as a professional bellydancer." The green-haired woman grinned down at him, letting him know she wasn't upset. "It's just going to be interesting, juggling swordplay lessons with Revan and Cloud, singing lessons with Laseedra Vaneth, and guitar lessons with Zexion."

"Really, Mom? Are you serious?"

"Well, what else am I going to be using my gil for? I get a nice fat paycheck every month, and all it's doing right now is accumulating in the bank. We can afford whatever rates they give us, Az."

"Thanks, Mom!" Azrael threw his arms around her in a tight hug. "You're the coolest!"

"Yes, I know. Now where is this creative writing teacher of yours?"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Akalara walked out of Mr. Yarll's classroom glowing with motherly pride. Like Mrs. Breize, Mr. Yarll had praised Azrael as one of his best students. The rotund man had even shown her a few choice examples of Azrael's poems, short stories, and tests. He'd even let slip that Azrael had put some of his poems to music, and with Andria and Axys would be performing some of them in the school talent show in May.

"My son the poet," she teased.

Azrael grinned, playing along. "The sacred light of learning hast blessed me with a pen of silver, mother mine."

"You're still a freak!"

The pair turned to see three different kids and their mothers blocking the hallway behind them, each as intimidating as possible. Akalara, however, was not impressed. These ladies were cupcakes compared to Tseng and Rude.

"A freak and a momma's boy!" one of the boys spat.

"A stupid monster!" the girl accused.

The remaining little boy, whom Akalara recognized as the same punk who had slammed Azrael's locker into him earlier, merely stuck his tongue out at him.

"That boy is a menace to society," one of the mothers declared.

"He starts fights at the drop of a hat!" another seconded.

"He's going to end up in juvvie hall, mark my words," the third murmured.

"Excuse me, ladies. But you seem to have mistaken my son for somebody else," Akalara said lowly, glaring at them. "Come, Azrael. We still have to meet with Principal Torvis."  
Azrael nodded, but then yelped and clutched at the back of his head. Akalara whipped around to see Ethan Nadair holding a fistful of her son's silky silver hair, his mother standing behind him with her arms crossed over her chest. "The proof is in the hair, Ms. Forrest," she hissed. "There are no black roots. Silver is his natural color."

"So?" Akalara shrugged, playing dumb.

"So what is the natural conclusion?" Jayne took the hair from her son's fist. "Face it, Ms. Forrest. Your son is a monster and a freak. He beats up innocent boys, and harms our children on a regular basis. He's going to end up just like his idol someday." She smiled evilly, rubbing her thumb over the hair in her hand. "Or should I say..._his father_."

Akalara felt her heart stop, but gave no indication that Jayne had hit the nail on the head. "What do you mean?"

Jayne spat on the silver hair and threw it at Azrael's feet. "Don't play stupid. It's obvious to anybody with eyes that he's Sephiroth's spawn. Nobody else in the world had hair like that!"

"And you have seen every single person living on this Planet?" the Turk inquired, one hand on her son's shoulder. "Sephiroth was the only man _in the public eye _with silver hair. There were others, Mrs. Nadair."

"So what? You spread your legs for one of his clones?" one of the other mothers spat.

Akalara fought to keep her temper leashed. "No. Azrael's father was a human being, just like anybody else."

"He's still a freak who picks on innocent boys."

"You," Akalara hissed, pointing to Nalmir's mother, "have no place to speak. Your son slammed a locker into my son's back less than an hour ago, and does the same thing every single day, unprovoked! And your son, Mrs. Nadair, just ripped a chunk of hair off my son's head while his back was turned. So, ladies, who is the one getting picked on here?"

"Monsters like him deserve to be exterminated."

The Turk stalked up to Jayne, her cranberry eyes murderous. "I thought I told you before, but obviously you forgot. I have license to kill, and I am _not _afraid to use it."

The other mothers gasped, but Jayne just rolled her eyes. "So you're a Turk. Big deal. You can go no further than the length of your leash, Ms. Forrest. One step out of line, and the WRO will have you canned."

Akalara smirked wickedly. "Who said you would be found with a bullet in your skull, or a slit throat? You could go missing, or die in a tragic gas explosion. You could have an accident while driving in your car. Or... I could get a friend of mine to enter your name into the Wanted database, as an anti-Shinra sympathizer or known terrorist. A few keystrokes, and even the WRO would want you dead."

Jayne had gone deathly pale. "You wouldn't dare," she breathed.

"I am a mother just like you, Mrs. Nadair. I'll do anything to protect my son." The pleasant facade dropped, leaving Jayne staring into the face of a Turk ready and willing to kill. "I just have more options than you do for getting rid of bullies. Do we have an understanding?"

The older woman nodded, realizing just how serious the green-haired woman was.

"Good. Now, we have a meeting with the principal, so if you'll excuse us..." Akalara took Azrael's hand and led him past her nemesis, down the hall, past the gawkers who had gathered to watch the confrontation.

Just as they passed the half point, Akalara heard little feet running down the hall and turned her head slightly, seeing Ethan racing towards her son, fist poised for a devastating punch.

Pushing Azrael out of the way, she spun around and kicked out, using her momentum to add strength to the blow. Her foot caught Ethan on the leg, and everybody in the hallway heard the sickening _crack!_ of his femur shattering. The sandy-haired boy went down, screaming and clutching at his thigh. There was no doubt the leg was broken; thighs weren't meant to bend that way.

"Consider this a warning," Akalara snarled. "If _any _of you so much as lay a finger on my son again, you won't be so lucky."

Nobody said a word as they continued down the hall, hand in hand.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"Ms. Forrest, have you considered home schooling for Azrael?"

Akalara relaxed back in the chair, staring coolly at Principal Torvis. "You know my profession, Principal. I'm afraid home schooling is out of the question."

The bald man licked his lips, trying not to seem too nervous. He had only just spoken with Kandi, another member of the Turks, when word reached him about Ethan. "I... You are aware of Azrael's treatment by other students, correct?"

"I truly don't think that will be a problem for the next few weeks, Principal," she said, showing a few too many teeth for the bald man's comfort.

"But he will remain singled out by the other students. They all know how touchy he is about Sephiroth. They all know exactly how to set him off. Even worse, they may know to torment him about you now. Grade schoolers and teenagers are like sharks, Ms. Forrest. When they sense weakness, they will act upon it."

Akalara leaned forward slightly, and Principal Torvis caught a glimpse of one gun and the hilt of a knife. This did nothing to reassure the nervous man. "You are in a position to stop them from torturing my son. And not only him, but also Andria Fair and Axys Sinclair. Azrael has told me that they are the victims of bullies as often as he."

"I do my best to protect each of the students in this facility, Ms. Forrest." Principal Torvis seriously wished he hadn't sworn off alcohol. He could use a good, stiff drink right about now.

"Your 'best' doesn't seem to be very effective." The green-haired woman spread her hands, the very picture of innocence now. "If my son is attacked, he has little choice but to defend himself. Wouldn't you agree?"  
"But Ms. Forrest, try to understand things from my perspective. Your son has injured several students since this facility was opened, and not only in fights. He has thrown one student down the stairs, pushed two boys off the playground equipment, almost killed one student by slamming his head into the wall, and detonated a cherry bomb in the toilet while Nalmir Rilith was using it. He is a danger to the other students..."

"If you will note, Principal, Azrael only retaliates. He does not throw the first punch. The incident with the stairs? The boy in question kicked my son down the stairs the day before. The incidents with the playground equipment? Those two tried to push him off first. The cherry bomb was a response to Nalmir's habit of slamming Azrael's locker door on him every single day. Even when he cracked that one boy's head into the wall, you yourself said that he ran my son into the lockers before it happened." The green-haired woman studied her nails nonchalantly. "Tonight, he was not only slammed into his locker by Nalmir, he also had a fistful of his hair yanked off his head by Ethan Nadair while his back was turned. I was standing right beside him when it happened. Not only that, but his mother actually encouraged him! Azrael has not done anything to either of them tonight."

"But that was no reason for you to break Ethan's leg, Ms. Forrest."

She lowered her hand and looked straight at him, completely serious. "I kicked him. There were witnesses to the event. I kicked him because he was charging my son, with the intent of harming him."

"You have no proof of that..."

"His fist was raised."

Principal Torvis reached into his pocket and withdrew a handkerchief, wiping the sweat off his bald head. "But this incident will only prove detrimental to your son in the long run, Ms. Forrest. It will only provide proof to some that your profession increases the likelihood that your son is prone to violence."

"My position as a Turk has absolutely nothing to do with Azrael's decisions, Principal."

"But years of exposure to that sort of climate..."

Akalara's eyes flashed. "Principal, look through Azrael's records. In the school he attended prior to this facility, his guardian was listed as 'Monica Waterlock'. For the first seven years of his life, he was raised by her for his own protection. It is only recently that he has come into contact with the Turks. And if you'll notice, he was the victim of bullying there, as well."

A bottle of scotch. That's all Principal Torvis wanted right now. A bottle of prime, two hundred year old scotch. "But the bullying has become more intense since you dyed his hair silver, Ms. Forrest. The children remember the events surrounding Sephiroth three years ago. The hair color makes him a target. It does not help that he is so quick to defend the man."

Akalara took a deep breath. "Is he wrong, to defend his father?"

That shocked the beefy man into silence.

"That information, by the way, goes no further than this office."

Principal Torvis nodded slowly. "So it's true, then..."

"Neither of us enjoy hearing Sephiroth slandered, Principal. Especially when what is said is so far off from the truth."

"But..."  
"The members of AVALANCHE will make a public statement to the truth, with Shinra's full support, in a few years when the fuss over Geostigma has died down a little. Again, confidential."

"Of course."

"In the meantime, I would appreciate it if my son did not have to face Hell every day. If necessary, I will take extreme measures to protect him." She crossed her arms over her chest, completely serious. "I do not enjoy harming children, Principal. But if it will make my son's life easier, I will do so without hesitation.

"Now, you say you do your best to protect each of the students in this facility. Therefore, protecting them means stopping the bullies which torment my son every day. And not only them, but also Andria and Axys. They may not be my children, but I will defend them as well, because they are the daughters of two of my best friends and coworkers. Do we have an understanding, Principal?"

The beefy man nodded again, vigorously. "But you must realize that I cannot work miracles, Ms. Forrest. Much of what is done to your son, as well as the other two, is never even noticed by the teachers and their aides."

Akalara got to her feet. "Protect your students, Principal."

He bit his lip. "I will, Ms. Forrest."  
She smiled at him, completely friendly and relaxed this time. "It was a pleasure speaking with you, Principal. As usual, you know to call if anything happens to my son. Though, I trust nothing will...?"

"Of course not, Ms. Forrest." He slumped in his chair as Akalara left his office and pulled out his top right desk drawer. But rather than the antacid tablets, he pulled out a jumbo-sized bottle of Nayloxx and chugged half of the chalky, thick medicine, straight from the bottle.

Two down, four to go.

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**_A/N: Reviews will be forwarded to the author! Thanks for reading!_**


	4. Nilto, Randak and Kaya

**_A/N from AT: Again, I only made minor changes. Typos and such. Go MysticSpiritus! This is here chapter! Enjoy! I know I did!_**

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**Disclaimer: I own Nilto, Randak, Kaya, and Damian. RenzokukenZ owns Renzo and AmazonTurk owns this idea and Paulo. SquareEnix owns everything else.**

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"Sweetheart?" Nilto called out to her busy household. The wife and mother of two was calmly sitting at the dining room table of her home going through some mail when she noticed an odd letter from the school.

"Yes?!" Replied three voices. One voice came from her sexy husband Randak, who was busy polishing his sword to a perfect shine. The other male voice came to her from her five-year-old son, Damian, watching the hit show, MythSmashers. The final voice was from the person Nilto was really calling too, her seven-year-old daughter, Kaya. Kaya was reading while her mother was going through bills and the like.

"I want you, Kaya." Nilto clarified while giving a "come here" gesture with her hand. Once her daughter reached the table, the Turk mother motioned for her to sit down. "Mind telling me why you received two days detention at school?"

Damian snickered. "Kaya got in trouble, Kaya got in trouble..." He teased from the back of the couch.

"It was the stupid principal's fault!" Kaya demanded as she slammed her hands down on the table.

Randak, satisfied that his sword was at it's sharpest, placed it in it's rightful sheath. "Tell us what happened, honey." He asked his pouting little girl.

Kaya huffed and crossed her arms. "Do you remember when I asked you guys for all those party balloons?" Her expression changed to that of the innocent victim. Her smile was at it's most precious and cute.

"We remember." Nilto nodded, while glancing over at her husband. _Oh, boy. What did our offspring do now? _The exorcist worried.

"You said something about surprising one of your friends," Randak pointed out.

Kaya grinned sheepishly at her parent's glaring eyes. "I kinda... putthemintheprincipal'soffice." The little girl's face brightened as her younger brother burst into laughter. His body doubled over as he clutched his stomach with his chuckles and snorts.

"You what?" Nilto asked in disbelief. She put the balloons where?

Her daughter caught the giggles from her brother and strained to tell her concerned parental units. "I put them in Principal Torvis's office!"

Randak snickered, but vainly attempted to hide it by covering his mouth. "And why did you do that?" Even Nilto had to hold back a laugh at the thought of the serious principal walking into his office in the morning only to find it overflowing with blowed up party balloons.

Kaya stuck her bottom lip out and pouted a little. "He won't let me pray at school."

Nilto's grin disappeared. "What?" The exorcist asked with a noticeable growl. Damian's eyes went wide and turned his attention back to the MythSmashers, who were currently testing the effects of the mythical "Brown Note" conspiracy. When his mom growled, it meant people were going to get hurt or demons were going to get slayed.

"What do you mean, he won't let you pray?" Randak questioned with a scowl. His family was a thankful family. They had been spared the Geostigma disease and consequently, made sure to thank the merciful Planet at mealtime and before slumber.

The seven-year-old girl only shrugged her shoulders disheartingly. "I was only saying a simple grace before lunch and he stopped me." She frowned at her mother. "I don't know what I did wrong, Mom. I was being quiet."

The mystical Turk sat back in her chair and slowly blew out a breath of air. That principal _dared _to tell her daughter that she couldn't say a small prayer before lunch? Nilto's pen tapped menacingly on the rich wood of the table. Oh, he was going to hear words from her. And not nice words either.

Randak looked at his firstborn child with a soulful gaze, his fatherly heart dropping by the second as he saw her saddened face. "What prayer was you saying, Sweetie?"

"Just the one we use at suppertime, Daddy," Kaya defended. "You know it's my favorite."

Randak stood up and walked over to his daughter, wrapping her in a big, bear hug. "You keep praying, Kaya. Don't let his ignorance stop you." He kissed the top of her head before turning his attention to his very upset wife. "We'll talk to Principal Torvis tonight at the parent-teacher conference."

Nilto scoffed as she stood up and walked to the master bedroom. "I'm not going to talk, I'm going to exorcize his ass."

Five-year-old Damian chuckled again. "Mommy said a naughty word!"

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The other parents looked on rather fearfully as another family entered the school. Kaya was skipping cheerfully along in front of the two figures following her. The man that was obviously her father was dressed in the black uniform of the Turks, his large broadsword strapped proudly to his back. His serious expression simply dared anyone to say something negative about bringing a weapon on school property. The woman, who purposefully walked two steps behind her husband, was also in her Turk uniform, but her black suit was hidden by the thick blue robe that draped over her form. The hood was down, revealing a face of mysticism and beauty. Brunette waves bounced with each step and the cloak made a silent whisper across the tile floor.

It was only Kaya that was accompanying her parents. Damian was staying at home with his favorite babysitter; cousin Renzo. Nilto had a suspicion though that Renzo was the preferred sitter because he let her children stay up late watching scary movies.

Randak and Nilto already spoke to Damian's kindergarten teachers when they came by earlier in the week for the mandatory home visit. The teachers were actually very kind, young women who said that the boy was very bright, if not a bit rambunctious. Their main concern was his obsession with dragons and the new sport called paintball. Randak wasn't too concerned though. His son was only following in his father's footsteps afterall.

Kaya happily waved to the other Turk parent and spawn who had just turned a corner. "Hi, Paulo!" The young girl ran up and hugged her friend.

"Good evening, sir." Randak shook Tseng's hand. "Having fun?"

The Turk boss rolled his eyes in response. "It's been a barrel of monkeys." The Wutaiin man placed his hands on Paulo's shoulders. "My adopted son neglected to tell me that he pulled a prank on his principal."

Paulo and Kaya giggled. "He deserved it for being mean to Kaya." Paulo said with a slightly flushed face.

"Thanks again for helping me, Paulo," Kaya smiled while fighting back a blush of her own.

Nilto laughed at the children's antics. "You helped her with that, Paulo?" The boss's son nodded with pride. "Way to go, little man." The cloaked Turk reached down to pinch the boy's cheeks.

Randak agreed. "Nice prank. Harmless, yet gets the point across." The swordsman glanced down at his wife. "I guess it's our turn. Shall we?"

"Can't wait," Nilto squealed.

"Don't frighten Principal Torvis too badly," Tseng instructed. "He still doesn't understand our line of work."

Nilto grinned almost evilly at her boss. "Not to worry, Bossman." She and Randak motioned to Kaya who waved a cute goodbye to her friend. The three then entered the dreaded principal's office.

Principal Torvis did a double-take when the little prankster entered his office with her parents. One parent had a huge sword strapped to his back and the other was cloaked in a mysterious blue robe. Boy, was this going to be interesting. He cleared his throat and gestured to the two chairs in front of his desk. "You must be Kaya's parents. It's uh... a pleasure to meet you." His eyes were glued to the broadsword that Kaya's father had unstrapped so he can sit down properly. It was very sharp and very big, but not even he dared to tell the muscular man that weapons were not really permitted on school property.

The woman in the robe smirked in a way that frightened the poor school leader. "It's a pleasure indeed, Mr. Torvis."

"Very nice to meet you." The swordsman smirked as well.

Kaya smiled in expectation. This was going to be fun!

Randak and Nilto sat down with Kaya jumping into her father's lap. Principal Torvis looked at the family and forced a smile upon his face. "Darryl Randak is it?" Randak nodded silently. Torvis turned his attention to the young woman. "Ayako Nilto?" That knowing smirk never left her face as she nodded too. What were they? He knew they were Turks, but what kind? A swordfighter and a mage? That kind of didn't seem right. Shaking away his thoughts, Torvis began his prepared speech. "Your daughter is overall a very lovely student--"

"Cut the crap," Randak interrupted. "What right do you have telling my daughter that she can't say a simple grace before lunch?"

Ooooh, right to the chase. "Well, you see sir, this school tends to the educational needs of students from many different backgrounds..."

The mage-like woman cut him off this time. "Was my daughter forcing her religious beliefs on the other students?"

"Well, no--"

"Was she disrupting the other students?" Nilto asked quickly.

"No, but--"

"Then what right in Gaia do you have to ban her from saying a simple prayer?" Nilto's smirk had dropped and was replaced by a piercing scowl.

Torvis shyed away the glare Kaya's mother was giving him. Her eyes seemed to be piercing his soul and examining the very core of his being. The rhythm of his heart quickened out of fear and trepidation. "It's not just that, Ma'am." The principal tried to explain. "There have been some other incidents where Kaya's behaviour has been a bit... odd."

Randak leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms. "Do explain," he ordered in a low, commanding tone.

"You see, there have been incidents of a fight between some friends of hers," Torvis explained, making sure to choose his words carefully. "While Kaya did not participate in the fight with her fists, she did perform some particular odd actions."

"Let me guess," Nilto piped up. "My little girl told the heathen children not to judge others based on appearance and actions, then she threw a type of powder into their eyes." Kaya beamed at her mother. "The powder temporarily blinded them until they came to their senses."

Kaya nodded her head up and down, her ponytail accidentally flopping into Randak's face. "It was a cleansing powder," the young girl stated. "They were mean kids who needed their evil actions cleansed from their soul." Her mother smiled in pride while her father ruffled her hair.

"That's my girl," Randak praised.

Nilto stared at the dumbfounded principal. "You see, Mr. Torvis, I am an exorcist. My husband handles this realm of reality and I handle the supernatural."

Mr. Torvis swallowed a lump that had formed in this throat. Well, that certainly explained things a bit more clearly. "Alright, but your daughter--"

Randak silenced the man with one raise of his hand. "My daughter knows full well what the other kids and even parents say about us Turks and our children. Taking after her mother, she chooses to handle the situation on a spiritual level rather than a physical one. And I find very odd that you punish the Turk offspring for standing up for their beliefs, yet let the bullying children get off scot-free."

"If I used that cleansing powder on you, Mr. Torvis," Nilto suggested with a cocky grin. "How long would you be unable to see?"

"A very long time." Kaya exclaimed. "All I wanted to do was say grace before eating my hot dog!" She settled back onto her father's lap and crossed her arms.

The principal folded his hands upon his desk. "Listen, Kaya--"

"No, you listen," Randak growled. "My daughter loves the Planet on which she lives and takes pride in being born with same abilities as her mother." Torvis paled as Nilto smirked again. Randak continued his rant, very much enjoying the fear he putting in the corrupt principal. "One little prayer before mealtime should be of no concern to you or anybody else. Never will she force her opinions on others and never will she harm another student without just cause."

"Just cause would be circumstances that you described a few moments ago," Nilto pointed out. It was at this point that the professional exorcist decided to channel her cousin and completely freak out the poor principal. Nilto stood to her full height of five feet and pulled up her hood. Then she leaned in close to the very frightened and freaked out school leader. "Remember this fact and remember it well, Mr. Torvis. This world is not a friendly one. Be grateful that you have within your educational walls, an apprentice demon slayer who utilizes her abilities to protect ignorant people like yourself." Her eyes looked straight at him, stirring in his being a sense of mystery and awe.

Randak gently placed Kaya down and stood up next to his wife. "I think our point has been made, Sir. Now, you did say that Kaya is a lovely child, besides for that little prank she played on you?" Two days detention for balloons? Something was seriously wrong with this guy.

Mr. Torvis nodded quickly and a sheepish grin spread across his face. "She's excelling in her classes too. I figured you guys would be proud of her."

Nilto straightened her stance and pulled back her hood, a genuine smile on her gentle face. "We are very proud of her. Thank you for your time, Sir."

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**Mystic: Yes, this touches upon of my huge pet peeves. Separation of church and state can only go so far. If a student wants to say a quiet prayer during school hours, the teachers have no right to stop them in my opinion. Now, if the student is purposely disrupting others or trying to force their beliefs down someone's else throat, then the school should step in. But only in those circumstances. So, if this sounded kinda rushed, I apologize. My emotions sometimes affect my writing. Say thank you to my mother when you review this, because she actually did fill her principal's office with balloons in high school for pretty much the same reason. Love ya mom! By the way, the cleansing powder is something I just made up. Call me creative...**

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**_A/N from At: All reviews will be forwarded to the author so...REVIEW!_**


	5. Reno and Axys

**_A/N from AT: This chapter belongs to dantesdarkqueen. Enjoy!_**

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**Summary: **Parent-teacher night. Normally, this is every kid's nightmare anyway, as well as their chance to impress their parents. So how do things go over for the biggest troublemaker in the school, and her infamous father?

**Disclaimer: **Az is mine, Ak's mine, most of these OCs are mine. Axys is mine. Reno, however, is Square Enix's. Ditto for any other canon characters mentioned herein. 'Cept Organization XIII. The characters are SE's, but the manner in which they are presented belongs solely to Amazon.

**Queen's Quornor: **Axys's turn! This was fun to write, because while I created Axys, I actually have never even written her. Well... Actually she was in one chapter of "Evidence of Sephiroth's Humanity," as a newborn infant, but other than that I really haven't done much with her. Amazon's been her primary writer so far. So now I get to add my own touches to Reno's daughter. And let me tell you, she is quite the little hellion at school...

Like Father, Like Daughter

A nice suit did not automatically mean that one would blend with a crowd of similarly-garbed people. Some individuals were just too distinctive to fit in with the other parents roaming the halls of the Shinra Educational Facility tonight.

To put it lightly, Reno stuck out like a sliced thumb covered in about two feet of bandages and tape.

The hair and the suit were immediately recognizable. The Turks weren't quite as intimidating as they were prior to Meteorfall, but the name still held power. Furthermore, Reno had the sort of reputation that made people get out of the way when they saw him coming.

No, not his reputation as a ladies' man.

His reputation as a killer.

But it was difficult to view him as a heartless assassin right now. For Reno was accompanied by a little girl with long hair as red as his own, her eyes a bright, intelligent aqua. The resemblence left no doubt in anybody's mind as to exactly how the Turk was related to her. She was pulling him up the hallway by the hand, laughing and chattering with him just like any other father/daughter duo in the facility. And Reno was letting her drag him along without complaint. He did, however, playfully whine about how she was going to rip his arm out of the socket if she didn't slow down.

"See, Dad? This is where Az smashed Robby West's head into the wall." Axys pointed to a circular, cracked dent in the painted cement wall. "He deserved it, though. Chicken-shit bastard slammed Az into the lockers."

Reno grinned. "Az got his dad's muscles and his mom's temper. Kids should know not to mess with him by now."

"They like setting him off. Especially the girls, since he won't hit 'em." She smiled fiercely. "Andi and I take care of them for him."

"And you got into a fight just today." The Turk flipped off a skinny nerd glaring at him. "That's why your mom made me come with you tonight. She's pretty tired of getting called down here at least twice a week."

"Don't start on that, Dad! I get enough lectures on being a 'proper little lady' from Mom!"

"She just doesn't want you to be a wild woman like she was. Christine really cleaned her act up after I knocked her up."

Axys rolled her eyes. "I know, Dad. I've heard it a million times already. So let's drop it, ok?" She stepped up to the lockers. "This is mine."

She spun the lock, kicked the door hard, then put in the combination again. Reno chuckled as the door popped open. "You like beating up the lockers, Ax?"

"It won't open unless I do that. Anyway, welcome to the Unsightly Mess." With a dramatic flourish, she opened the locker and presented the interior, ignoring the items that spilled out onto the floor.

Reno whistled as he took in the pile of textbooks, crumpled assignments, old tests, gnawed pencils, coats, and abandoned sack-lunches stuffed into the confines of the locker. "Shit, Ax! That's as bad as your room!"

"No, that's the Unholy Mess that Crawls in the Night and Eats Your Socks." Axys folded her arms and grinned. "This one only eats small children."

The Turk shook his head in amusement and turned his attention towards the locker door. Taped to the metal was an enormous collage of photographs and clippings from magazines and newspapers, occasionally augmented by colorful magnets and lists. Reno had to laugh; his daughter had not one, but four shit-lists. One for her, one for Andria, one for Azrael, and one for Bryce. All of the clippings were about the Turks or bands Axys liked, and the pictures were a motely collection of shots of him and his coworkers, Organization XIII, the Spawn, and Christine. There were also quite a few snapshots of Azrael.

Reno smirked. "Got a thing for Little Boy Silver, Ax?"

Axys turned as red as her hair. "Daaaaaddd!" she whined, pushing him.

"Hey, it's not like I'm gonna broadcast it over the intercom system. It's just that Mini-Rufus is gonna be real disappointed when he finds out."

"Oh, shove it up your ass and die," Axys grumbled, kicking the fallen belongings back inside the locker and slamming it shut.

"Somehow, I don't think the Prez would be too happy to hear about his son being stuck up my ass." Reno grinned at his daughter. "You trying to get me killed or something?"

The redheaded girl sighed and grabbed her father's hand. "C'mon. Let's meet with one of my bitch teachers and the Prince so we can go home."

Reno stood in one place, not budging despite her best attempts. "But I wanna snoop around some more." He pouted.

"Dad!" Axys leaned backwards, putting all her weight into forcing him into motion. "Come..._on!_"

Reno shrugged. "You got it." Axys lost her balance and stumbled when he took a step forward, and glared at him.

"Smartass bitch-face."

"Where do you think you get it from?" Reno continued down the hall. "Let's go, Ax. I don't wanna stay here any longer than you do."

Axys brightened and hurried to keep up with his long strides. As they passed one classroom, a sharp voice hailed them.

"Axys Sinclair!"

The flame-haired girl cringed, and slowly turned to see a forty-something Wutaian woman stalking up to them. "Mrs. Tsubasa!" she squeaked.

Reno arched one crimson brow at his daughter, then looked at Mrs. Tsubasa. "Nice to meet you. Name's Reno, proud papa of this little terror."

She bowed in greeting, then glared at Axys. "Your daughter is trouble, Mr. Reno."

"How so?"

"She sasses me, passes notes, throws spitballs, and makes paper airships in class. She also abuses the Wutaian language. Curses other children with it and makes rude remarks to her other teachers in Wutaian. She does not take her studies seriously!"

Reno became serious. "Is she failing the class?"

Mrs. Tsubasa shook her head and crossed her arms, still glaring at Axys. "She's at the top of the class. And that's exactly the problem! She says things to the other students that they can't understand, things that would get her slapped in my country!"

The Turk nodded seriously. "This is easily solved." He turned to his daughter, fighting to hide his smirk. "Axys, you are not allowed to do your Wutaian homework for the next two months. Maybe failing will make you concentrate on your studies a bit more."

The teacher gaped at him. "No, she must do the homework! It is her tongue which gets her into trouble! She says things that should not be said!"

Reno bit his cheek, trying desperately to keep a straight face. "Axys, show me your tongue." She obligingly stuck out her tongue, smiling around it. The Turk wagged his finger at the tongue menacingly. "You are grounded, tongue! No talking for a month! No ice cream or popsicles for two! Now go to your room!"

The tongue disappeared back into her mouth, and Reno turned back to Mrs. Tsubasa, who was staring at him like he'd just grown a second head. "That should solve the problem. Let me know if it gives you any more problems. Nice meetin' ya, teach."

They managed to keep from laughing until they turned the corner, then gave in to their mirth, laughing until their sides ached.

"I can't believe you did that!" Axys howled.

"The look on her face was worth it!" he cackled.

After a few minutes and several incredulous looks from passerby, they finally calmed down. "Am I really not allowed to do homework, Dad?" the redhaired girl asked hopefully.

Reno snorted. "You have to do the homework, Ax. Your mom would kill me if you didn't! Now, is there a teacher in this building who won't complain about your behavior? I have to give a good report to Christine."

"Ummmm..." Axys scratched her head, then headed for the stairs. "Two options. The gym teacher and my art teacher."

"Gym's no good. It's next to impossible to fail P.E."

Axys nodded. "Yeah. If it wasn't, Andi'd be in real trouble."

"Why's that?"

She pushed open the door and headed upstairs. "Because she hasn't actually participated in gym since last fall!"

RARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARA

On their way to the art room, Axys and Reno found their way blocked by a crowd of people. From somewhere beyond the wall of human bodies, they could hear a boy screaming.

"What's going on? I can't see a damn thing!" Reno craned his neck, trying to catch a glimpse of _anything_.

"Stay here. I'll be right back." Axys wormed her way through the crowd, and her father quickly lost sight of her. Reno waited, still trying to see over the taller men in front of him.

Axys was back about two minutes later. "Ok, the screamer is Ethan Nadair. He's screaming because his leg is snapped nearly in two at the thigh."

Reno's brows shot up. "Really? How the hell'd that happen?"

"Word is that he charged this kid with silver hair, and the kid's mom kicked his leg. Then she threatened every single person in the hall with even worse pain if they bother her son ever again." She crossed her arms and smirked. "Now, who does that sound like to you?"

Reno shook his head, amazed. "Ak must've been really pissed off, to hurt a kid like that. But it sounds like she had good reason to snap his leg."

"Ethan deserves that, and more. He goes after Az every chance he gets. And not only him, but me and Andi, too. Kaya and Bryce he leaves alone. I don't think he's met Paulo yet." Axys tossed her hair back over her shoulders. "He's always bad-mouthing Sephiroth, and Akalara too. Most of the school loves to go after Az and Andi. We defend each other, but we can't fight off _everybody._"

"So maybe this'll give you all a little peace and quiet for a bit." Reno gave a short laugh, then turned away from the crowd. "So where's your art room?"

"We're going to take the long way." Axys grabbed his hand and led him down the hall.

RARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARA

"Axys astounds me with each piece she completes. There is always such _feeling, _such _passion _to her work! She's my prize student; she has the talent of a _master artist!_"

Reno rolled his eyes behind the teacher's back as she searched for yet another example of his daughter's artistic skills. Axys shot him a sympathetic grin and continued lounging on the table, staring up at the ceiling while her teacher raved.

This particular employee of the Shinra Educational Facility, known only as Moonflower (Axys had whispered that her real name was Miss Longleif), was a leftover of the 'Planet Power' movement that had flourished during the Wutaian War. She was dressed in a long, loose purple skirt with an embroidered white peasant top, and her long brown hair was held back by a suede headband with beads. Reno was willing to bet Moonflower had smoked a bit too much hash in her life, from the zoned-out way she acted, if not more potent drugs.

The teacher passed him a canvas painting. Against the background of a school in flames, there were several children and at least three adults staked out on the blackening grass, writhing in torment as their flesh was burned from their bones. Reno was impressed by the detailed expressions of pain and terror adorning each doomed countenance. "Isn't it magnificent?" Moonflower gushed. "Can't you just feel the anger, the hatred? She put her very soul into this painting! It's just too bad Principal Torvis refuses to let me display it. This is Axys' best piece!"

Reno had to wonder what the hell this woman had been smoking. Most of his daughter's artwork depicted kids in the school in agonizing pain, on torture racks or lying dead and bloody. There was, however, one piece that was absolutely beautiful. It was a depiction of a little girl in a pink dress with curly blond hair slowly disentegrating into spiritual energy and merging with the Lifestream, simply titled _Courtney._

The pieces didn't bother him, but he could see where somebody not used to this sort of thing would find it disturbing. Moonflower, obviously, did not.

"I'm going to submit at least one of her pieces to the National Art Show in June. Axys is good enough to win first prize!"

"That's cool, Moonflower." Reno smiled, then motioned to Axys. "Well, we have to go now. It was nice talking to you."

"The privalege was all mine, sir!"

The pair quickly escaped out the door. "Where did Rufus dig her up? That woman's only got half a brain!"

Axys giggled. "Word is, she's still got a hookah and incense burners. She's nuts, but we all think she's cool. And Bryce said his dad picked her because she's a really good sculptor."

Reno slowly shook his head. "Wow... How do you put up with her, Ax? People like her drive me crazy!"

"Just ignore her. She doesn't get offended. So what's next, Dad?"

Reno rolled his eyes. "You get to hang out in the Main Office while I talk to your principal."

Axys winced. "You...might want to ignore him, too."

RARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARA

As it turned out, there were lots of things for Reno and Principal Torvis to talk about.

Or rather, in Reno's case, to listen to while the older man ranted and flipped through his daughter's extremely thick file. Christine hadn't been sharing everything about Axys' life at school with him, it seemed.

She set fires in the bathrooms.

She beat up other students when they talked smack about her friends.

She had set loose a trio of baby chocobos in the cafeteria the first day back from Yuletide Break.

She started foodfights.

She sassed her teachers.

She set off firecrackers in students' lockers when they pissed her off.

She was not allowed to climb rope in gym class anymore because when she reached the top she would swing across the rafters and out the window, onto the roof.

"...And don't even get me started on the Noodle Incident!" Principal Torvis exclaimed, passing Reno a set of photographs. "That was so traumatic for the lunch ladies, they refuse to speak of it to this day! And she once burned an effigy of Ethan Nadair outside his history class, in the middle of a test! Then there was the time she filled the teacher's lounge with baking soda and rigged the sprinkler system to spray vinegar... It took us days to get the building clean again!"

Reno was fighting a losing battle against a smile. He had been every teacher's worst nightmare when he was in school, but it sounded as if the fruit of his loins had outdone him. No, not outdone him. Left him in the dust.

"She's in here so often that if I don't see her, I start wondering if she's sick! And I can't expell her, because not only is she your daughter, she's also got one of the best grade point averages in the school!" The older man spread his hands. "I'm at my wits' end here! You must discipline your daughter more severely in order to correct her behavior, Mr. Reno!"

"I'm not doing _shit_ to my baby girl, Prince." Reno glared, noting the sheen of cold sweat on Torvis' bald head. "Her ma's the one in charge of discipline. Talk to her about that."

"She's out of control, Reno! If she isn't curbed, she could potentially kill one of her fellow students! And I can only excuse so much of her behavior as retaliation for things done to her; some of these incidents have happened for no reason at all!"

Reno shrugged. "So she got bored and decided to stir the pot. Big deal."

"_Yes_, big deal!" Torvis looked through Axys' file again. "She responds with violence so often..."

Torvis froze as a fully-charged EMR suddenly appeared beneath his nose. Glaring, Reno spoke his piece. "Don't start on that shit about my job having a bad influence on my baby girl's mental state. Outside this facility, she's the best-behaved little so-and-so out there. And not only Axys; the same goes for _all _our kids. What you're experiencing here with them are their reactions to a thoroughly hostile environment. I know why my daughter starts shit, Prince. She's trying to draw attention away from two of her best friends: Azrael Forrest and Andria Fair. If the kids are focusing on her, they aren't bothering her friends. If you'll notice, all of the pranks occured either on the first day back from a break, or when there was some sort of incident involving Az or Andi. She's doing this to _protect _them, just like a good Turk would." He flicked the switch on his EMR, setting the voltage to 'Kill'. "Got it?"

"She makes herself a target out of concern for her friends," Principal Torvis quickly replied.

"Glad we have this understanding, Prince." Reno switched off the EMR and put it away, smiling. "Now, if you want Axys to settle down, take care of the bullies. If nobody's trying to hurt Azrael or Andria, she won't do anything. Also, it might be advisable to expell the bullies anyway. If President Shinra finds out that his son is attending a school filled with kids singling out the offspring of several of his Turks, a school which he himself funded, founded, and to which he regularly sends donations, he will be _most displeased _with you. And it is not wise to piss off one of the most powerful men on the Planet, if you catch my drift."

Torvis nodded.

"Good. Now, if you'll excuse me..." Reno waved to the poor man as he left the office. Axys hopped to her feet as soon as he reappeared.

"Everything ok, Dad?" she asked, somewhat nervously.

Reno smiled and laid one hand on her shoulder, guiding her out of the office and towards the nearest exit. "You done your old man proud, Ax. Real proud."

* * *

**_A/N: Awesome job, my friend! These girls I'm writing with...they RULE! ReViEw PlEaSe!_**


	6. Tseng and Paulo

**_A/N: Bossman's up next. He's mine. Mwah ha ha ha. For the record, Paulo is of Costa del Solian descent, the Gaian equivilent of hispanic, comprende? Y en la escuela, los ninos no le gustan Paulo a todo. Que lastima._**

**_Disclaimer: Not ours._**

* * *

Chaos. 

Why was it that anywhere a group of his people assembled, chaos would inevitably follow? Even in an educational facility, a sacred place of learning and alleged peace.

A little blond girl with penciled in eyebrows was pulling on her mother's arm, begging her not to make her go into the science lab.

There was a child with a snapped femur being wheeled out on a stretcher, his mother following along beside him, eyes darting around in paranoia as if she expected to be jumped at any moment.

Several children we're being led by the hands by their parents, their eyes covered in gauze or bandages.

"Paulo," Tseng began, placing a hand on his adoptive son's shoulder and staring at the blind children. "Why do those children have bandages covering their eyes?"

Paulo snickered quietly before quickly composing himself. "They were involved in the fight with Azrael, Andria and Axys during my study period," he explained. "Kaya was there, too. She's not a big fan of violence, so she threw cleansing powder in their eyes. It makes 'em blind for a little while, until they come to their senses. The blind kids still haven't done that, I guess."

"For the love of Leviathan," Tseng groaned. He turned to his son and arched a perfectly shaped black brow. "And were _you_ involved in the skirmish, Paulo?"

"Uh, no," he stated. "I was...somewhere else."

"Hmm," Tseng nodded. "Well, I should hope you are staying out of trouble considering the detention you must serve for the prank you assisted Kaya with on Principal Torvis. Though two days for balloons is hardly fitting. Now, if they had been filled with one of Niki's concoctions and exploded in his office, I could see the detention as a suitable reprimand."

"Principal Torvis is a biased son of a--"

"That's quite enough," Tseng cut in calmly. "I am fully aware of the issues involving the Turk offspring. However, I believe that Principal Torvis is performing his duties rather well given the circumstances. I have to deal with the adult Turks on a daily basis and I can safely say that you and your peers are much more mature."

"Yeah, but you don't have to deal with the Turks being bullies to one another," Paulo told him, leading him down the hall to a group of lockers. He ran his hand over a small, human sized dent. "You see that? That is where Robby West shoved Azrael into the lockers."

He continued on down the hall, stopping at a broken water fountain. "This is where Courtney Stephens slammed Andria's head into the fountain while she was taking a drink," he growled.

Pointing across the hall to the opposite wall, he said, "That's where Kaya exorcized Bobby Writer for saying that Az was possessed by Sephiroth."

Continuing on, he turned a corner and pointed to a charred spot on the floor. "And this is where Axys burned the effigy of Ethan Nadair," he grinned. "Gods, that girl is such a freakin' pyro."

Tseng studied the spot, his hands clasped behind his back in thought. "Indeed," he agreed.

"But it got our point across," Paulo said lowly.

"And that would be?"

Paulo turned his face up to the man who had saved him and given him a new life. "You fuck with one of us, you fuck with all of us," he stated.

Tseng looked down in the boy's eyes. The fierce determination he saw shocked him, yet filled him with pride. Tseng tilted his head and gave his son a small smile. "Indeed."

"Ah, Paulo! Glad you came by!"

Paulo turned and smiled at the tall, thin man coming out of the history classroom. "Hi, Mr. Burch," he replied, stepping forward. "Sir, I'd like you to meet my...father."

Mr. Burch held out his hand and shook the Wutain's firmly. "Tseng of the Turks," he said with a smile. "Pleasure to meet you, Sir."

"Thank you," Tseng answered. He arched an eyebrow at the man. "How do you know me?"

The history teacher laughed. "Who doesn't know of you?" he said, stepping aside and gesturing inside the classroom. "Come on in. I must say, Tseng, that Paulo is an exceptional young man." Mr. Burch closed the door to give them a bit of privacy. He placed his hand on Paulo's shoulder and smiled down at him. "The staff knows of Paulo's past and how he came to be your son. I commend you on it, Sir."

Tseng waved off the praise with an elegant flick of his wrist. "Paulo's past is exactly that," the Wutain told him. "What matters now is his present and his future. How is he doing in his studies?"

"Paulo is one of the top students in his grade," Mr. Burch told him. "In fact, he's the best student I have in any of my classes. He is very interested in history."

Tseng arched a brow and smiled down at his son. "Is that so?" he asked.

"We're studying the ancient traditions of Wutai at the moment," Mr. Burch continued with a grin. "He has actually taken it upon himself to construct a scale model of the Pagoda for the class. He's been working on it during his study period." The teacher opened up a cabinet and revealed the project in question.

Tseng stared at the intricate details of the structure, noticing the care that Paulo had taken to get everything perfect, down to the small bonzai trees on the sides of the steps. "Have you ever seen the Pagoda in person, Paulo?" the Wutain asked, looking down at the boy.

"Nah, I just did a Doogle search on it," he answered. "Also, I used some of the pictures you have at home for reference."

Tseng touched the model with reverance. "You've done it justice, Paulo," he said, the emotion barely evident in his voice. "Thank you for the care you've shown."

"He was very excited when he learned we would be studying Wutain culture," Mr. Burch explained with a smile. "It seems he wishes to know everything about his father's homeland."

"I'm honored," Tseng said, bowing slightly. "But what about your own heritage, Paulo? What of Costa del Sol?"

"I lived in the vicinity," Paulo answered darkly. "It never did anything for me. I never had parents to explain my heritage. So, I figured since you adopted me, I'd adopt you and your roots."

Tseng nodded and placed his hand on the boy's shoulder. "If that is what you wish," he said. Turning to the teacher, he extended his hand. "Mr. Burch, thank you for your time."

"My pleasure, Tseng," he replied with a smile. "Paulo, I will see you tomorrow in class."

"Yes, Sir," Paulo answered as he and Tseng exited the classroom. The boy looked up at his guardian sheepishly. "You aren't...mad, are you?"

Tseng looked down at him in confusion. "Of course not," he answered. "Why would I be?"

Paulo shrugged. "I don't know," he said softly. "I didn't know if you would want a messed up kid like me tainting your traditions."

Tseng glared ahead at nothing in particular. "'Tainting'?" he asked. "Is that what you think?"

Paulo smiled painfully. "I get that a lot, you know," he told him quietly. "Since I am from Costa del Sol, not a lot of kids really like me, you know? They think...I don't know what they think. They treat me like I'm inferior to them."

"Being Wutain isn't that different," Tseng explained stopping and kneeling down next to him. "Racism is something that, as a minority, we must contend with, Paulo."

"Yeah, but the Turk kids aren't like that," Paulo protested. "Neither are the Turks. I mean, they don't treat you or Wei or N.C. any differently. And Az, Andi, Ax, Kaya, Bryce, Damian and even Marlene and Denzel don't seem to care. Why does everyone else seem to have a problem with me being Costa del Solian?"

Tseng sighed. "Truthfully, Paulo, it's because they're assholes."

Paulo's eyes widened. "Tseng?" he squeaked.

"They are," the Wutain snarled. "The color of a person's skin, the shape of their eyes, the lilt of their speech does not define a person. What defines a person, is their soul. And those little bastards that can't see that, don't have a soul."

Paulo grinned and laughed. "Okay," he said with a nod. "Okay."

Tseng returned the smile. "Okay," he replied rising to his feet. "And don't call your father by his first name. It's disrespectful in our culture."

Paulo's grin widened as he mimiced Tseng's stance and clasped his hands behind his back. "Yes, Sir...Dad."

* * *

By the time that Tseng arrived at Principal Torvis' office, his opinion of the man and his abilities had drastically changed. In addition to the landmarks of the school bearing the indentions of the Turk Spawn's heads or bodies, was the evidence of his son's own subjection to discrimination. On the front of Paulo's locker was graffiti that read, "Go home, Wetback," "Speak Gain, Freak," and Tseng's personal favorite, "Yo quiero Burrito Gong." 

It appeared that ignorance was hereditary.

He just hoped that his Turks that proceeded him into the principal's office had made him proud. Of course, considering he had seen Randak with his broad sword strapped to his back, Nilto in her exorcism cloak, Reno packing his EMR, Akalara packing her guns and kunai and Kandi being, well, the Goth punk that she was, he was pretty sure they had.

Now, he hoped to give the man a heart attack.

_Ring, ring._

Tseng stopped before going into Torvis' office and reached for his cell phone. "Tseng speaking."

_"Tseng-sama, it's N.C."_

"Ah, N.C.," he said with a smile. "How is Nate's parent/teacher conferences going? You're in the junior high section, correct?"

_"Principal Shield's won't speak with me,"_ she said and Tseng could tell she was near tears. _"She says that I am not suitable to be Nate's legal guardian and refuses to see me."_

"What reason did she give that you are not a suitable guardian?" he asked lowly.

_"Because I'm still a minor myself,"_ she croaked out. _"Because I'm only seventeen."_

Tseng clenched his jaw and nodded. "Let me finish up here in the elementary section and I will be there shortly. I'll take care of it."

_"Thank-you, Tseng-sama,"_ she whispered. He heard the phone change hands.

_"Tseng?"_

"Demyx?" he asked. "Are you there with them?"

_"Yeah, she asked me to come,"_ he said with a hint of a smile in his voice. _"Couldn't leave my girl hanging, you know?"_

"Thank you," Tseng said sincerely. "Keep her calm. I'll be there momentarily."

_"Got it, Bossman."_

Tseng closed his phone and stuck it back in his jacket pocket. This school system was re-godsdamn-diculous. Rufus would not be pleased at all. Without so much as a knock, Tseng entered the prinicpal's office.

Torvis' sweaty face paled upon seeing the Wutain. "Tseng," he said with a nod, rising to his feet. "Good to see you, Sir."

The vein in the side of Tseng's head was throbbing. "Sit down, Principal Torvis," he said calmly.

If it was possible, Torvis' already pale face grew whiter. This was not shaping out to be a pleasant visit. He had dealt with five Turk parents regarding four Turk children thus far. Now, he had the Turk leader standing before his desk in what could only be classified as 'Tseng Intimidation Mode'. This did not bode well for the principal. This did not bode well for him at all.

Sitting down, Torvis attempted to smile. "Paulo has been doing very well in his studies, Sir," he began, deciding to go the polite route with this lethal man. It was said that Tseng was an expert in negotiating a person into committing suicide. And right now, after the night he had, Torvis didn't think he would need much convincing.

"I'm aware of that," Tseng snapped. "I do receive a detailed report card every quarter." Torvis sat back in his chair, trying to shrink behind his desk. Tseng smirked and stepped closer to the man. "What I was not aware of, Principal Torvis, was the fact that my employer was financially backing and had actually affixed his name to an educational facility in which future thugs and bigots were produced. When President ShinRa opened this facility, it was to give children a better chance at a good education. It was and is his continuous contribution to a better world. Which is why several of my employees decided to enroll their children into this school, myself included when I adopted my son. However, I now see that resurrecting Professor Hojo would have better suited our interests and would have more than likely been less tramatic for our children than coming here to this...school."

"With the exception of Sephiroth's son, of course," Torvis said with a nervous smile. Tseng glared at him in a way that made Torvis' bowels loosen. If this continued, he was going to shit himself.

"If you utter another word of that boy's parentage again, I swear to the mighty god Leviathan I will remove your small intestine through your nasal passage," he growled out. He straightened to his full height and adjusted his tie. "A team of my people will be here tomorrow to install a security camera system in the school. I am aware that the faculty do not and cannot see all that happens to the Turk's children. However, that will no longer be the case."

"Sir, the school already has a camera sys--"

"This will be specially designed by my Head of Information Technology, Kandi," Tseng interrupted, smirking at the look Torvis got on his face. "I'm sure you have met her."

"Just tonight, Sir," Torvis said weakly.

"She is an incredible asset to my team," Tseng continued. "This security system will be directly linked to Turk HQ. If we see any mistreatment of our children via this device, action will be taken immediately. I will not tolerate my son being the object of ridicule based solely on the fact that he is the child of a Turk. Nor will I tolerate any racist violence against him simply because he is of Costa del Solian decent.

"Additionaly, Azrael Forrest, Andria Fair, Axys Sinclair, and Kaya Randak will no longer bear the brunt of any hostile actions by the deviants that roam these halls," Tseng continued. "Our children know how to defend themselves. They are currently only acting in defensive ways. Do not force us to prompt them into offensive actions, Principal Torvis. It would be in your best interests to put an immediate stop to all of this despicable behavior from the brats who torture our children. If one of our children voices a complaint, I suggest you hold it at face value. Am I clear?"

"Perfectly."

Tseng nodded and turned on his heel, exiting the office with clipped footsteps.

Torvis jumped from his chair and headed to his private bathroom. He had been five seconds away from shitting himself.

Dear, sweet gods, all that was left was President ShinRa himself. And right now, he was wishing his office was on the top level of the ShinRa Educational Facility. He suspected he would bounce nicely when he hit the street below.

* * *

_**A/N: Tseng being able to negotiate suicide is the brilliant idea of t3h maniac. Suicide isn't funny, Children. Neither is racism. Bigoted bastards. I HATE THEM ALL! I believe that all applications, job or educationally related, should simply have a place for a first initial and the last four letters of a person's last name and their social security number. No place for sex, no place for race. Hire or grant admitance based on qualifications alone. Fuck that other shit, cos it don't matter. The worth of a person is not based on their skin color or sexual reproduction organs, but on the content of their character. No race or sex is better than another. If you believe in creation, we all came from dirt and God spit. If you believe in the Big Bang theory, we all came from primordial sludge. If you believe in reincarnation, we all used to be dung beetles. (stepping off soap box) Now, embrace your equality and REVIEW!**_


	7. Rufus, Lily and Bryce

**_A/N from AT: Mystic's turn!!!_**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I own Bryce and Lily. Everything else belongs to either SquareEnix or AmazonTurk. **

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Being a father was a part of life that Rufus ShinRa had come to enjoy. Surprisingly, fatherhood came naturally to the young president. Even he had to wonder how he managed to be just a childless bachelor for so long. Watching Bryce's young smile and mannerisims, hearing his genius expressions, filled the leader of Shinra with pride and the strange emotion called love. Bryce was_ his _son, the child of _his_ seed, and the pleasant result of a beautiful one-night stand.

Lily, the sultry woman who brought forth Bryce into the world, was now standing sweetly next to Rufus while their son revealed to them the contents of his locker. Rufus and Lily never renewed their one-time relationship; choosing to instead become friends for the sake of the genius bundle they created. Bryce liked that arrangement. He got to be with mom during the week and dad on the weekends and a few evenings during the week. One birthday party with mom and her new boyfriend Joel, then another one with dad and Magni. Two celebrations of Yuletide and two huge meals during the Giving of Thanks.

Extra presents, extra attention, extra love.

Joint custody had its perks.

"As you can see, mom and dad," Bryce said proudly while showing off his spic-and-span locker. "My schoolbooks are kept neatly on the top shelf, briefcase hanging neatly on the hook, and photographs of my dear friends." He flashed a gap-toothed grin to his stunned father.

Rufus looked over to Lily who was chuckling quietly. "Instead of a backpack, he brings a small briefcase to school?" When it came to being completely anal, nobody could top Rufus and Tseng the Bossman. However, mini-Rufus was easily giving the two grown men a run for their large amounts of money.

"Of course, dad." Bryce answered matter-of-factly. "A briefcase organizes important papers better and makes me look more important."

Lily praised her son by massaging his shoulders. "The class president is supposed to look important." The exotic beauty smiled at Rufus. "Right, Sir?"

"That he is." Rufus said with a grin. "That he is."

Both parents learned from the social science professor that Bryce ShinRa quickly became the leader of the pack since his transfer to the Shinra Educational Facility. The other students voted him class president for his leadership qualities (Rufus couldn't help but smirk at that compliment), as well as his apparent cute looks. Bryce had promised an increase in recess time and less detention for harmless little pranks. So far, mini-Rufus kept every single one of his campaign promises. He was overall well-liked and well-behaved.

Most of the time.

President Rufus' blood began to boil as Bryce's stories of the Turk children being bullied was confirmed by the social science instructor. Luckily, those instances of violence and degradation was where Bryce shone in his leadership of the schoolyard. When Azrael or Andria was being targeted by ignorant bullies, Bryce would instruct the Turk spawn on how to bring about an unfortunate "accident". Kaya would perform a cleansing ritual or even borderline go the goth route and scare the little heathen. Andria would merciless beat the wrongful child to a pulp if said child was another female. Azrael would frighten the child with a very recognizable glare before beating the shit out of the child if the hellion was male. It was clear though that Axys was Bryce's favorite of the Turk spawn to work with. The "little red-haired girl" as Bryce affectionally called her, was an expert at creating a perfect distraction when a fistfight going on between Azrael or Andria. Explosives, choice words...

Oh, hell yeah. And Axys made it look _good_.

The teacher of Social Sciences was one of the few faculty members that looked the other way when a fight was going on. He knew how the Turk students were being treated and didn't interfere when they stood up for themselves.

Rufus was more than ready to interfere, though. He did not fund and personally donate to this facility so the offspring of his bodyguards would be taunted and tormented. It was clear that Principal Torvis was not doing his job to the best of his ability. In that case, words must be said. Now, if harsh words weren't enough to change the unfortunate circumstances, then things would have to be done. Or set on fire.

"Lily, take our son to see the Physical Education teacher." Rufus ordered coldly. "I believe Torvis and I need to have a little discussion."

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Blood-pressure raised and fists clenched tightly into objects of immeninent destruction, President Rufus ShinRa stormed in the the office of Principal Torvis. One parent, the mother of a child named Ethan, was already there yelling that her son was in the ER because of a certain Green Bitch.

"Ma'am, I request that you leave this room." Rufus snarled in anger.

The woman gasped at the sight of the famous leader of Shinra. "Mr. President!" Mrs. Nadair smiled at her impending victory. Once the handsome president heard that one of his Turks had harmed a little boy, that bitch with emerald hair would be gone for good, along with that freak of a child.

"I told you to leave." Rufus said again. This was one man who did not like to tell people twice. "I will warn you now, that if I learn about one more incident involving your son; Ethan will be permanently expelled from this school and you will be considered wanted: dead or alive." The president shoved his finger in her face, reveling in the way her pretty face paled. "Understand?"

Ethan's mother swallowed slowly as the president continued his death glare. "Understood... Sir."

"Now leave." The woman did as she was told without hesitation. Principal Torvis raised up to leave as well but was stopped a demanding voice.

"You stay."

The principal sat back in his seat like a child being scolded. A low chuckle escaped the lips of President Rufus as he paced back and forth in front of the sweaty and very incompetant headmaster. "Mr. Torvis, it has come to my attention that several of the students here are being targeted because they are the children of some of my bodyguards." He stopped his pacing and leaned down on the large desk, placing his face inches away from the frightened man. "I would say that's bad."

"Mr. President--" Torvis choked out while cowering away from the evil eye he was receiving.

"You do realize," Rufus smirked and leaned in closer. "That all it takes is my signature to destroy this school. I can do much worse than just cut off my funding. Has that thought not crossed your mind?"

The only response Torvis had was to wipe the beads of sweat off of his brow. This just wasn't his night.

"My Turks are very creative." Rufus continued to explain as he stood to his full height. "How simple it would be to just create a little accident involving this facility's wiring. Perhaps a new janitor might drop a still-lit cigarette in the wrong spot. Maybe a science project could go horrible wrong." The smart blond smirked mischeiviously. "Or maybe a certain principal is found to be the ring-leader in an anti-Shinra organization and must be exterminated.

"How would that seem, Mr. Torvis?"

Tonight, once he got home to his safe house--if it was safe--Torvis was going to drink every adult beverage in his liquor cabinet. An alcohol-induced coma seemed very comforting at the moment. "The bullying will stop, Mr. President." The shaky principal affirmed.

Rufus smiled a eerie grin. "You also realize that I do not like liars."

"I'm not lying!" Torvis screeched in extreme worry. "The bullying will stop!"

"Make sure it does." President Rufus glared darkly, leaning in once again to create more fear. "The Turks are not the only people with a license to kill." The principal's gaze dropped to the white trenchcoat that hid a loaded gun. "Now, I trust that my son is a good student?"

"One of the best we have, Sir." Torvis nodded quickly.

The Shinra leader smiled. "Then all is well. For now."

President Rufus exited the office with stride as the freaked out principal passed out, his thick skull making a loud thunk against the wood.

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"Rufus, is everything alright?" Lily asked, concern racking her voice. Even Bryce looked up at his father in a mixture of worry and childlike love.

The president leaned down and ruffled his son's hair. "Everything should be alright for now. How was the meeting with the P.E. teacher?"

The Desert Roses dancer smiled sweetly as Rufus raised up. "It seems that our boy has a natural-born rhythm."

Bryce simply beamed. "I'm the best dancer the school has, dad!"

Rufus raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

"Yeah!" Bryce took his father's hand and led him down the hallway toward the door. "At our last school dance, I showed everybody how it's done. Axys and I did this really cool waltz step, then I spun her around, and even dipped her..."

Lily and Rufus smiled at each other as they listened to their son's rambling. In most ways, mini-Rufus was just like his father, but it was apparent that he inherited his mother's dancing skills. The former concubine was in all ways supportive of her young son learning how to dance.

It made it easier to meet and woo the fairer sex.

Bryce ShinRa walked happily along with his proud parents, oblivious to the stern discussion and threat his father gave to the principal. The school leader was most likely still passed out from the nights events. Turks and their many offspring was not something that most faculty had to deal with on a regular basis.

It was clear though, that the planet Gaia had deemed Principal Torvis the system's proud bitch.

Which was what he clearly deserved.

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**Mystic: Sorry, no funny author's note this time. I feel kinda angsty. (shrugs) Review. **


	8. NC and Nate

**_A/N: Now for a trip over to the junior high section of the ShinRa Educational Facility in which we shall find out about the night N.C. has been having with her little brother, Nate._**

**_Disclaimer: AmazonTurk, dantesdarkqueen and MysticSpiritus do not own anything affiliated with Final Fantasy VII or SquareEnix. We do, however, own this super wicked fic in which we have placed the characters belonging to the aforementioned entities, along with several fairly odd, though strangely endearing OCs. _**

* * *

N.C. leaned forward in her seat outside Principal Shields' office, chewing on her fingernails. Her fingernails she had just had done. Her fifty gil manicure that she was now spitting onto the titled floor of the ShinRa Educational Facility. She had wanted to look mature and grown-up meeting with her little brother's teachers and principal. Her black and silver streaked hair was tied back in a low ponytail. Her makeup was mature and sophisticated. Her Turk uniform was pressed and clean, no blood stains on any part of it. She had even wore a pair of adorable peep toed heels. N.C. Solendir, rookie Turk, did not look like the seventeen year old she was. She looked like a successful career woman who was well on her way to a promising future. 

Nate had introduced her to his physics instructor, Mrs. Yarborough, with a bit of apprehension. N.C. understood where her brother was coming from. Not only did he have to contend with the fact that he didn't have parents like most of the other thirteen year olds in his classes, but he also had a Turk for a sister. Add to the fact that Nate shared the same oddly colored hair as his sister, and he was the target of the more popular kids. N.C. had nearly drew her gun when one of the jock punks had passed them and pulled his eyes at the corners, causing them to slant, then bursting into laughter.

"N.C., don't," Nate had begged her. "Come on; he's just an asshole."

"Don't make it right," Demyx had grumbled, stuffing a hand in his pocket and draping his arm around his girlfriend. "Nate, these little bastards always do that kinda shit to you?"

Nate just shrugged. "We're teenagers," he said softly. "Someone's gotta be the class bitch. I guess that means it's me."

"Why?" N.C. had snarled. "Because you're Wutain? Because you look different?"

"Sis, just...drop it, okay?" Nate pleaded. "Please."

"I want to know why they pick on you, Nate."

Nate slammed his fist into a locker and turned to face his sister. "It's because of you, okay?" he yelled. "You're only four years older than me and you are in charge of me. And...you're a Turk. And somehow...someone found out about our past. Some jerk broke into the principal's office and pulled my file. They found out we used to be sellers."

N.C. stared at her brother, having to look up a bit as he was slightly taller than her. "Oh Nate," she had said, reaching for him. "I'm sorry."

"It doesn't help that Principal Shields does a check of my locker and backpack three times a week, making sure I don't have anything in my possession," he had told her.

"But she doesn't have a reason to!" N.C. had exclaimed indignantly. "That's just wrong."

"Whatever, N.C.," Nate had said. "Just...drop it, okay? You'll only make things worse."

Mrs. Yarborough had been more than happy to speak to her, and had spoken highly of Nate. She praised him on his attentiveness and how easily he grasped the difficult subject of physics. Eighty percent of his class was failing, but Nate was passing with a perfect grade.

Mr. Warren, the calculus teacher, had also praised Nate's achedemic abilities. N.C. was very proud of her brother. She had thanked the two instructors, who had been very kind to her. Excited and extremely optimistic, N.C., Demyx and Nate had then proceeded to the principal's office. The woman, in her mid-thirties, had looked down her nose at N.C. when she walked in.

"Miss Solendir," she began with a sneer. "My time is reserved for those students with proper parents or guardians. I will not waste a moment with a miscreant minor such as yourself. Please see yourself out."

N.C. had been near tears when the door to the office slammed in her face. And, so, the phone call to Tseng had been made. Not only was the Turk leader her boss, she had come to see him in the roll of an older brother. They shared the same heritage. There was a bond among all the Turks, but with N.C., Wei and Tseng, there was a bond of kinsmanship.

Spitting out another acrylic nail, N.C. felt her sadness turning to anger. "How dare she?" she seethed. Nate raised his head up and looked at his sister. "Who the fuck does she think she is?"

Nate's eyes widened. "N.C.?" he asked in shock.

"Whoa, Babe," Demyx said with a grin. "You okay?"

N.C. stood to her feet. "No, I'm not," she said, gritting her teeth. "She has no idea who the fuck she is dealing with."

The back of N.C.'s legs hit her chair as she was propelled back with the weight of an eight year old boy. "Hey, N.C.!" Paulo exclaimed, grinning up at her. "Sorry we took so long, but Dad was giving Torvis hell."

Tseng gave N.C. a small smile as he pulled her to her feet. "Shall we?" he asked, gesturing to the principal's office.

N.C. grinned at him, eyes narrowed in determination. "Let's."

* * *

"I thought I told you to leave, Miss Solendir," Principal Shields all but snarled as the young woman entered her office again, a tall Wutain man at her side. 

"My employee has opted to stay, to discuss her brother's scholastic progress, Principal Shields," Tseng told her coldly, settling down in a chair opposite the woman. "I suggest you comply with her requests."

Principal Shields slammed her hand down on her desk and rose to her feet. "I will not be bullied by a lot of overpaid, ego inflated killers," she hissed, chin held high in defiance. "I don't care if you are the Turk leader himself, I will not speak to this child regarding her brother."

"I _am_ the Turk leader," Tseng told her calmly.

Shock came over the principal's face briefly. "As I said," she continued with less steam as she lowered herself back into her chair. "I will not speak to a minor regarding the issues involing another minor."

"N.C. Solendir is an emancipated minor and is the legal guardian of her brother, Nate Soledir," Tseng told her. "Ms. Solendir is a full-time employee of the ShinRa Electric Power Company in the Department of Administrative Research. She has every right to be here and you will speak to her."

"I will not," Principal Shields stated, refusing to waiver. "_Miss_ Solendir is nothing but a juvenile delinquent and, as such, has corrupted the mind of her younger brother. I will not speak to a punk thug drug dealer about the welfare of her brother."

"You are a self-absorbed, biased and narrow-minded individual, Principal Shields," N.C. said calmly. Tseng glanced over at her and arched an eyebrow. "Not everyone can have an ideal childhood, Ma'am. Nate and I were left to fend for ourselves at a very young age. I did what I could for my brother. Yes, we sold drugs to kids our own age and younger. It is not something that I am proud of, but it allowed me to provide shelter and food for my younger brother. I know what I did and subjected Nate to was a terrible lifestyle..."

"Indeed," Principal Shields sneered.

"But I would do it again if it insured that my brother would live," N.C. hissed. "Too many orphans die in the streets of Midgar and Edge everyday. Not only here where we live, but in Costa del Sol, Wutai, Gongaga, and Junon. Meteorfall left a lot of families torn apart, Ma'am. Children did what they could to survive. Would you have spoken to me had I saved my brother from becoming a drug dealer and simply became a prostitute myself?"

"Hardly," the principal scoffed. "Though you are not much better than a common whore, _Miss_ Solendir. Seventeen years old and you are working for the Turks. You, my child, should still be in school yourself. Have you a proper education?"

"N.C. received her GED after joining the ranks of the Turks," Tseng interjected, taking out his cell phone. "Excuse me for a moment, Ladies."

Principal Shields glared at the younger woman. "I don't care if you bring in President ShinRa himself to try and force me to speak to you, it won't happen."

Tseng smirked and spoke into the phone. "Do you have your handheld with you?" he asked.

_"Yeah,"_ Kandi answered and he could hear her clicking on the keys. _"Whatcha need, Bossman?"_

"What do you have on a Victoria Shields?"

Silence as Kandi accessed the database of crimes committed by every licensed individual in Gaia. _"Parking violation,"_ she said. _"That's is. Unless...you_ need _me to find something."_

"Yes."

Kandi laughed and he heard more clicking. _"Well, well, well,"_ she said cheerfully. _"Good thing I kept digging. It appears that Victoria Shields is the financial backer of an anti-ShinRa lingerie store, call 'Victoria's Whispered Promises'."_

"You're powers of deduction are simply mind boggling," Tseng told her. "Thank you."

_"Always a pleasure, Bossman."_

Tseng hung up his phone and turned to the two woman who were glaring at each other. "Principal Shields, this is your final chance," he began. "You will speak to N.C. regarding her brother's studies."

"No, I will not," Principal Shields scowled, stomping her foot.

Tseng nodded and turned to his rookie, his hands clasped behind his back. "N.C., I have been informed that Victoria Shields is in our database as an anti-ShinRa sympathizer. Would you be so kind as to eliminate the problem?"

N.C. turned a hateful glare to the Headmistress of the ShinRa Educational Facility's Junior High Division. "Of course, Sir," she replied with a malicious grin.

Tseng nodded again and exited the office, stopping to speak with the secretary. The young woman paled slightly then nodded quickly, rising from her desk and walking swiftly down the halls. Tseng checked his watched and the glanced toward the door of Principal Shields' office. No more than five minutes later, the secretary was back, followed by another young woman. Tseng shook this young woman's hand, learning she was the vice-principal of the junior high section. She smiled kindly, placed a comforting hand on Nate's shoulder and nodded to Tseng. Two more minutes passed and N.C. exited the principal's office, removing her leather gloves and placing them inside her jacket.

The vice-principal stepped forward, hand outstretched. "N.C. Solendir?" she asked. N.C. nodded, confused. "I'm Pamela Forsythe, the Junior High Vice-Principal. I apologize for the trouble you have had tonight. If you would kindly step into my office, I will be glad to discuss Nate's studies with you."

N.C. smiled at her and gave Tseng a thankful look. "Thank you, Ms. Forsythe," she said.

The young woman laughed. "Please, call me Pam," she said, gesturing for N.C. and Nate to accompany her.

Tseng smirked and pulled out his cell phone again. "Elena?" he said. "Send the clean up crew to the junior high section of the educational facility. Oh, and let President ShinRa know that there is an immediate opening for the position of principal. Thank you."

* * *

_**A/N: Tseng's so badass. If people don't cooperate, off 'em. One more chapter to go! Review please!**_


	9. Coffee and Cameras

**_A/N: Wrap-up time!_**

**_Disclaimer: As always, anything legal and copyrighted does not belong to us. The various OCs belong to their creators. And I own the new t-shirt I just bought that says 'I 'Skull and Crossbones symbol' Rock. I like that t-shirt._**

**_

* * *

_**Stargils was where most of the parents and their children went after they finished with the parent/teacher conferences at the ShinRa Educational Facility. The overpriced designer coffee and the prestige those little cups of flavored java brought was just too much of temptation to the middle class parents wishing to be more than they were, wishing to impress their peers with their ten gil cups of espresso. The lawyers, the psycologists, the small business owners, all pulled up in their mid-sized SUV's or high priced sportscars, worth more than they made in a year and financed out their overextended asses. And there, at the commercialized franchise, they spoke of the nights events; of the plague of Turk Spawn, of the appearance of the president and of the (hush, hush) unexpected death of Principal Victoria Shields.

But somewhere, just a little ways down the road, was a small diner. Nothing but a little hole in wall. It was a 24 hour joint that had the strongest coffee on the Planet and the best apple pie. And driving by that parking lot, one would see a red and black Harley Davidson Fatboy with a matching adult sized helmet and a black and purple child sized helmet resting on it; a midsize four door sedan in forest green; a four-wheel drive pick-up truck that had seen its share of dirt roads and sported a bumper sticker reading 'Honk if You Love the Planet'; a older model red Ferrari in mint condition; an inconspicuous black Jaquar; a bluish silver Prius; and a white Rolls Royce Corniche.

The Turk Spawn took up the rounded corner booth, plates of french fries and milkshakes spread out amongst them. Nate, being the oldest one, sat at the end of the table, straddling a chair and chewing his straw. They were all watching as Axys took out her lighter and sprinkled pepper over the flame, watching as the flecks of seasoning sparkled as they burned.

"I bet this stuff would work as gun powder!" Axys exclaimed excitedly, aqua eyes wide.

Andria rolled her eyes at her friend and giggled. "Ax, it's pepper," she said. "It's lacking the chemical compound that would make it combustible."

"Then why the hell does it catch on fire, Smartass?" Axys retorted. "I'll bet if I make a trail and end it in a pile and light it, it will follow the trail and make a wicked poof, just like gun powder."

"I'll bet you 20 gil it doesn't," Andria smirked, blushing slightly as Azrael squeezed her hand under the table.

"You're on!" Axys laughed, unscrewing the cap and making her trail and pile. She then flicked her lighter and held it to the end of the trail, waiting for it to catch. Her smile faltered when it didn't.

Andria held her hand out and grinned. "Pay up," she ordered.

Grumbling, Axys dug in her pocket and produced the 20 gil. "Bitch," she snapped, slapping the gil in Andria's hand.

"Love you, too, Ax," Andria laughed. She kicked her playfully under the table. "I'll buy you lunch tomorrow."

Axys gave her a crooked smile. "Cool," she said, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against Bryce, who blushed at the proximity of his crush.

Kaya took her napkin and wiped a bit of whipped cream off Paulo's nose, giggling as she did. "How horrible was Torvis to everyone?" she asked, linking her foot with the dark eyed boy's. "Daddy and Mom totally freaked him out."

Andria shrugged. "I don't know," she said, taking a sip of her milkshake. "Mom went in there without me. I stayed out in the hall with the secretary."

"Yeah, I didn't get to go in either," Azrael said.

"Me either," Paulo added.

Axys nodded. "Dad went in without me, too," she said.

"Father told Mom to take me to see Coach Faulker before he went to see Torvis," Bryce added.

"You mean Coach Fucker?" Azrael asked with a sneer. "Gods, I hate that guy. He always pushes me so hard."

"That's because you're so strong, Az," Andria told him sweetly, giving him a gentle nudge. "He just wants to realize your full potential. I mean, you've got some pretty wicked genetics there, General."

Azrael grinned at the nickname his friends had given him. "Yeah but still," he said, running his thumb over Andria's hand. He grinned. "Best part of the night was when Mom broke Ethan's leg."

The Spawn laughed at that and Nate grinned. "Nah," he said stuffing some fries in his mouth. "Best part, hands down, was when Tseng ordered N.C. to off Principal Shields. You kids just had an injury in your section. We had an assassination."

"Sweet," Bryce said with a smile. "I love it when things work out so well."

* * *

Reno grinned and lit a cigarette, turning his attention back to his co-workers and friends. "Kids had fun tonight," he said, blowing out a puff of smoke, and resting his arms on the back of the chair he was straddling. He kicked Akalara playfully. "I can't believe you attacked a kid, Ak." 

Akalara glared at him. "I was defending my son from a bully," she said. "I can't help it if his mother doesn't give him milk and causes his bones to be brittle."

Nilto giggled as she poured a piping hot cup of cream and sugar filled coffee over a glass of ice and began sucking it down with a straw. "You should have seen the look on Torvis' face when Randak came in with his broad sword," she told them. "Priceless."

"What about when you pulled up your hood and channeled Renzo?" Randak offered. "I thought he was going to shit himself."

"No, that was during my visit, I'm afraid," Tseng said, sipping his coffee regally. "Well, he nearly 'shit' himself. I believe he was able to hold out until I left."

"Torvis did have quite a night, didn't he?" Rufus chuckled. He arched an eyebrow at N.C. "At least his didn't end as Principal Shields' did, however. And she only had one Turk Spawn to contend with. Torvis has six. I misjudged the woman, it appears. I'm glad to be rid of her. Now, that just poses the problem of finding her replacement."

"Promote Pam Forsythe," N.C. suggested. "I like her. She's very nice. Very open minded. We had a nice talk about Nate. And she's been discriminated against all her life because she's a lesbian, so she can relate to Nate and the other kids about being different. I'm thinking about calling her up tomorrow and giving her Nina's number as a sort of thank you."

Reno spewed his soda out of his mouth and sputtered. "Holy hell, is she hot?" he choked out. "We have got to find our girl Nina a hot girlfriend." He pointed to Kandi. "And then you need to help me set up a survellience camera in Nina's apartment."

Kandi threw the salt shaker at him. "Fuck off, Pervert," she said. "I ain't giving you shit."

Demyx pulled N.C. closer against him and snickered at Reno. "Owned," he grinned.

"Speaking of survellience cameras," Tseng said, glancing over at Rufus who gave him a nod in confirmation. "Kandi, I need you to get a team together and put a special camera system in at the educational facility, in all sections. Damian is still in the kindergarden section, the majority of the Spawn are in elementary, Nate is in junior high and he will be in the high school section next year. I believe we need to cover all sections of the facility as the children will eventually hit each level."

"What kind of system?" Kandi asked, stuffing a bite of her second slice of apple pie in her mouth.

Tseng smirked. "I'm giving you creative liberty on that one," he said. Kandi grinned wickedly. "Just make sure no one can detect it or hack into it."

Kandi laughed insanely. "Bossman, please," she said with a roll of her eyes. "I'm impregnable."

"Yeah, she just impregnates," Reno snickered. "Case in point, Andi's conception."

Lily smacked her ex-lover in the arm. "Reno, you are still as idiotic as ever," she laughed.

Reno waggled his eyebrows at her. "And that's why you couldn't resist me, Baby," he said with a wink.

"I'd watch it if I were you, ReRe-chan," Kandi sneered. "Her boytoy, Joel's a helluva a lot bigger than your skinny ass."

Reno glowered. "Don't call me ReRe-chan," he grumbled.

"ReRe-chan."

The salt shaker make it's way back across the table in the general direction of Kandi's head.

"Enough," Rufus ordered sharply. "I swear, our kids are more mature than you two."

"Fuck off," Kandi said, chucking the salt shaker at her boss.

Rufus caught it, unscrewed the cap and dumped its contents onto her remaining apple pie with a smirk.

Kandi shrieked in protest. "My pie!" she wailed, brushing the salt off the dessert. "You are an evil man!"

The president chuckled. "I get that a lot," he said. "Like water off a duck's back, Kandi."

"Bitch," she grumbled, trying to salvage her pie.

"Children," Nilto said sweetly, the red in her eyes flashing dangerously. "Knock it off or I'll exercise all of your asses...understand?"

Rufus eyed the mystical Turk warily as Reno shrunk down in his chair and Kandi lowered her eyes to her salty apple pie.

Nilto smiled prettily. "Good," she said, rising to her feet. "We best get the kids home, Guys. They still have school tomorrow."

"Indeed," Tseng agreed. "Kandi, first thing in the morning."

The red-streaked Turk nodded. "Consider it done," she said.

Akalara grinned and linked her arm through N.C.'s. "This should be interesting," she said.

N.C. simply smirked, quite pleased with the way the night had ended.

* * *

Dramatic entrances were something Turks didn't get to do much. Covert missions kinda put a damper on the whole throwing the door opened and walking into a building in slow motion while a totally wicked guitar rift was playing. However, in a school that was filled with kids under the age of eighteen, a dramatic entrance was definitely called for. At approximately 8:15 a.m., Kandi, Sage, Ram and Niki-chan walked through the doors of the ShinRa Educational Facility, armed with the tools they needed for their assignment. Kandi, of course, being the head of the IT Department had brought her IT staff, Sage and Ram, with her. But what part did Niki-chan, resident clinically insane Turk rookie, play in this mission? 

She was the vent specialist.

Niki could manuveur through any ventilation system ever made. And if she couldn't, the monkey on her back could. Kali, the four-armed siamang, was the perfect helper for this project. If nothing else, her four arms could hold a multitude of necessary tools for easy access. Think of her as a tool belt with a pulse and really cute eyes.

The kids all stared at the black clad foursome as they made their way through the halls. Sage gave Niki, armed with electric drill and 1/8 inch bit, a boost into the ventilation system Kandi had her handheld and had pulled up the school's blueprints on her AutoCad program, checking for the best places to put the small lenses. Once Niki was safely in the vents, Ram and Sage began splicing the wires for the cameras, connecting the audio and visual outputs as well as security features to prevent tampering. Anyone who fucked around with these babies got a jolt of electricity shot through their bodies. The bell rang and the students filtered into their classrooms. Now the real work started.

Kandi spoke into a head set, monitoring Niki's position in the vents via the GPS tracking chip in her cellphone, telling her exactly where to drill the holes. Sage and Ram started to feed the cameras into the holes and Kali secured the ends with the small power supplies. The cameras were independently powered and did not rely on the school's electricity. Once the cameras had been set up, Kandi pulled her laptop out of her jacket pocket and checked each connection, rotating each camera. Each view was perfect.

By the time first period was over, the Turks had finished.

* * *

Nate stopped at his locker to retrieve his calculus book and calculator. Today had been a fairly good day. Not once did Conner Taylor, the jock punk from the previous night, pick on him. Everyone else either gave him shy smiles or avoided eye contact all together. 

However, the peace was not to last long.

Nate hit the door of his locker hard as someone pinned him up against it. "What's the matter, Rice Eater?" Conner hissed in his ear. "Don't have your big sister to bail your ass out, huh? I know she killed the principal. You always gonna hide behind your sister's back, Ninja Bitch?"

The young Wutain boy grit his teeth and pushed himself away from his locker, spinning around and landing a perfect kick to Conner's head. Conner hit the floor, his nose dripping blood onto his football jersey. Nate placed a foot on his chest and stared down at him.

"I'm not gonna be your bitch anymore," Nate said calmly. "And neither is anybody else. We're here to learn, Dumbass. I'm not taking this shit from you or anybody else anymore. Got it?"

Conner simply stared up and him, eyes narrowed. Nate applied more pressure to his chest, grinning as he heard a rib snap. "I will not hesitate to use force if necessary, Conner," he snarled. "Got it?"

"Got it," Conner weezed, gasping as tried to take in a deeper breath.

Nate nodded and helped Conner to his feet. "C'mon," he said. "I'll take you to the nurse's office."

Conner looked at him, relief on his face. "T-thanks, Nate," he stammered.

Nate just smiled, his eyes shining with victory.

* * *

Andria sat in the locker room during gym class, sending text messages to Axys and Kaya. She heard the door open and looked up, grinning at her mother. 

"So, what is it this time, Spawn?" Kandi asked, plopping down across from her. "Cramps again?"

"Exposed epidermis," Andria replied, closing her cell phone. "A condition that cannot be treated, sadly."

The red-streaked Turk shook her head. "Spaz," she said. She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out her laptop.

"Got a soda?" Andria asked.

Kandi produced a Dr Schlepper for herself and her daughter.

"Cool," Andria said with a grin. "Anyone figure out how you do that yet?"

"Nope, and don't you be telling anyone," her mother said, moving to sit beside her daughter. "I want to show you how to work the security system."

"The new one?" Andria asked.

"No, the one that the administration sees," Kandi explained. "The new one is only to catch other kids doing stuff to you guys. I'll take care of that one. This one is the one the school had installed. Rufus didn't okay it. It's a piece of shit cheap ass thing that you can get at any electronics store. Or on ePay."

"Why are you showing me how to work it?" Andria inquired in confusion.

Kandi smirked. "Just in case you guys need to handle a situation and don't need any evidence of it," she told her. "I'm going to teach you how to run an empty feed or pretaped footage. You can specifiy the length, intervals, whatever."

A slow smile came across Andria's face. "Ooh," she said nodding. "Gotcha. 'Kay, whatcha got?"

"Okay, I'll send the encription to your laptop so you can have it when you need it, but right now, this will do," she began. "First thing you gotta do is get random footage of students in the hall, going to class, getting books, whatever. Hit the record button and it'll record it."

"Natch," Andria said.

"Smartass," Kandi grumbled. "Next, you do the same to the empty halls. Depending on when you need the footage. Pay attention to time stamps. You may have to alter them. But if you feed it through right and the footage you record has a time stamp of 0:00:00, it will automatically pick up the count once the live feed is terminated, got it?"

"Yep," Andria said. "Gods, that is simple."

"Yeah, my system is much more complex," Kandi told her.

"Ever gonna show me that?" Andria asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Maybe when you're older," she said with a grin.

The door to the locker room burst opened and Axys came tearing in. "Kandi!" she shrieked. "Thank Odin you're here! Niki-chan's in the girl's bathroom. She just summoned the Lifestream and it pulled Courtney Stephens's ass into the toilet. She's stuck!"

Andria fell over laughing as Kandi smiled. "Why would I care?" Kandi asked. "Let the little bitch stay there."

"No!" Axys yelled. "I was telling you so you can record it so we can use it for blackmail material later on!"

Kandi laughed. Oh yes...everything was going to be just fine at the ShinRa Educational Facility from now on.

* * *

_**A/N: And that's it! Hope you all enjoyed it! I need a vote. I was thinking of doing an outtake reel for this. If you would like to see that, let me know. If not, let me know, too. I've only done one other outtake reel and that was for 'Caged Canary'. Let me know what you think! Otherwise, this fic is finished! Thank you so much to dantesdarkqueen and MysticSpiritus for collaborating on this with me. Ladies, we must do it again! Thanks for reading! Now, review please!**_


	10. Outtake Reel

**_(Screen fades from black to color, showing three young women in their twenties, sitting in directors chairs. The one on the right is sipping an iced coffee while bouncing her crossed leg. The one on the left is vigorously trying to finish her homework for her college classes. The one in the middle is jamming to her iPod and eating an ice cream bar.)_**

**_Camera Man: Yo AT! We're rolling!_**

**_AmazonTurk (AT): (singing) I'm not paralyzed but I'm seem to be struck by you, I wanna make you move, BECAUSE YOUR STANDING STILL!_**

**_Mystic (on the right): Uh, Queen? Think we should do something?_**

**_Queen (on the left): Uh, yeah. (pulls AT's earbud out and yells) SHUT THE FUCK UP! We're rolling!_**

**_AT: AAKK! (falls over backwards; picks self up and climbs back into chair) Damn it, you're loud, Queen._**

**_Queen: And you can't sing._**

**_Mystic: Uh...guys?_**

**_Camera Man: ROLLING!_**

**_AT: Oh! Hello! I'm AmazonTurk. You may remember me from such features as 'Separation', 'Caged Canary', 'Operation: Assassination', and the feature you just finished reading 'Turk Teacher Conferences'. (camera switches angles and we get a good peek up Mystic's skirt) I am joined today by dantesdarkqueen, authoress of 'Evidence of Sephiroth's Humanity', 'Seed', and 'I Knew Him Before'; and MysticSpiritus, authoress of 'Sephiroth's Honor', 'Honorable Mentions' and 'The Tantric Ways of a Mage'._**

**_Kandi: KUJA IS MINE, BITCH!_**

**_Mystic: In the alternate universe! This is CANON! CANON!!!_**

**_Kandi: Oh...my bad!_**

**_Queen: Oh, hell. (looks at camera, which is now not focusing up Mystic's skirt) 'Turk Teacher Conferences' is our first collaboration together. We have all three written in each other's timelines, but this is the first time that we've actually joined forces for a fic._**

**_Mystic: That sounds so bad. Joined forces. Like, the dark side?_**

**_AT (rubbing hands together): YESSS! The Dark Side! Mwah ha ha!_**

**_Queen (whacking AT upside the head): No, as in joining our collective minds together to form the fic._**

**_Mystic: Oh yeah! We had so much fun! And you guys, our readers, made us so popular! Thank you!_**

**_AT: Anyway, as a token of our esteem, we have gathered together this collection of outtakes for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!_**

**_Camera Man: And cut. Good job, Ladies._**

**_(enter Mystic's husband)_**

**_MH: Give me the damn footage you got up my wife's skirt! NOW!_**

**_Camera Man: Uh...(runs away)_**

**_AT/Queen/Mystic: (facepalms)_**

* * *

**Outtake One:**

"Oh, she's adopted?" the mother said with disdain. "That explains everything."

Kandi glared at her. "Actually, Andria is my biological child," she snarled. "I'm her father."

Courtney's mother's mouth dropped open. "You...had a _sex change_?" the woman whispered the last two words like she was bringing about the apocalypse.

"Yep!" Kandi said, unfastening her pants. "Wanna see where my penis used to be?"

AT: CUT! Kandi, what the hell?

Kandi: What? It used to be right there!

Reno: I wanna see!

Mystic: Back up, General Gonnerhea. You're not in this scene.

AT: Kandi, you do remember what the Green Sludge did, right? It temporarily made you a man and Zack a woman. You do not have a scar to show people where your penis used to be.

Kandi (grinning): Who said anything about a scar?

AT: (sweatdrop)

* * *

**Outtake Two:**

Andria beamed at what could only be her favorite teacher. "Hi, Mr. Becker!" she exclaimed rushing over to hug him. She grabbed his hand and led him over to her mom. "Mr. Becker, this is my mom."

"Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Fair," he said with a smile.

Kandi snorted. "Uh, my name's Kandi," she said with a grin. "Andria's...father and I never married. He died shortly after she was born."

Zack: I'm not dead!

Kandi (hitting Zack over the head): He's as good as dead.

Zack: No, really. I feel better.

Kandi (pushing Zack away): Any moment now. Gonna kick the bucket.

Zack: I just might make a full recovery!

AT: CUT! Zack...you know, for this fic, you're dead, Sweetie.

Zack: Aw, but I want to hang out with my kid during parent/teacher conferences.

AT (fangirl sparkles in eyes): Isn't he cute? Fifteen minute break! (grabs Zack and takes him off to Stage 69 where they proceed to break a set and shatter a woofer)

Queen (looking at Mystic): I call Sephiroth.

Mystic: Damn it!

* * *

**Outtake Three:**

"Well, if you decide you want music lessons, Azrael, I know several good teachers." The blond looked innocent. "Laseedra Vaneth, for example, gives good rates on her off-season..."

"You know Laseedra Vaneth?! Of Ephemeral?!" the silver-haired boy exclaimed, staring up at his teacher in shock.

"I used to date her," Mrs. Breize smiled warmly.

(crickets)

Queen: CUT! The line is 'I used to date her brother.' _Brother_. As in, male sibling. You did not date Laseedra Vaneth.

Mrs. Breize: Oh. OH! Sorry. (looks disappointed) I didn't date her?

Queen (ignoring snickering of co-directors): No.

Mrs. Breize: Pity. She's hot.

Queen (rolling eyes): Take if from Azrael's line. And ACTION!

"You know Laseedra Vaneth?! Of Ephemeral?!" the silver-haired boy exclaimed, staring up at his teacher in shock.

"I used to date her brother," Mrs. Breize smiled warmly.

(crickets, again)

Queen (whispering): 'She and I are close friends.'

Mrs. Breize: You and who are close friends, Queen?

AT: (snorts)

Mystic: (giggles)

Queen: That's your LINE!

Reno: Hey! I know her! That's Lizla!

Rufus (paling): Oh gods. (goes and hides)

Queen (whips out cell phone): Yes, I need the listing for Smart Blond Actresses. (pause) What do you mean there's no such listing? Oh. Okay. Thanks anyway.

AT: What was that all about?

Queen: Apparently, smart blond actresses are mythical creatures. One has yet to be found.

AT/Mystic: Ooooh.

Ram (blond): I resent that remark.

AT (pointing excitedly): OH! Ram! She's blond! Use her!

Queen: Worth a shot. Take it from Az's line again. ACTION!

"You know Laseedra Vaneth?! Of Ephemeral?!" the silver-haired boy exclaimed, staring up at his teacher in shock.

"I used to date her brother. She and I are close friends, and she's good vocal instructor. That's how she funded her band, in fact, before Ephemeral got their record deal." Mrs. Breize frowned. "Though, I don't know any truly good guitar teachers. You're on your own for that one, Ms. Forrest."

Queen (sparkly eyes): She's perfect!

Ram (smirking): Natural blond. Peroxide is what kills the brain cells.

All: Oooh.

* * *

**Outtake Four:**

Just as they passed the half point, Akalara heard little feet running down the hall and turned her head slightly, seeing Ethan racing towards her son, fist poised for a devastating punch.

Pushing Azrael out of the way, she spun around and kicked out, using her momentum to add strength to the blow. Her foot caught Ethan on the leg, and everybody in the hallway heard the sickening _crack!_ of his femur shattering. The sandy-haired boy went down, screaming and clutching at his thigh. There was no doubt the leg was broken; thighs weren't meant to bend that way.

Azrael (sporting white liquid mustache and holding glass of said liquid): Got milk, Bitch?

Queen (grinning): I think we should keep that in there.

AT: It's cute. I like it. Perfect timing.

Mystic: I love you, Mini-Seph!

This outtake was sponsored by the Society to Promote the Consumption of Bovine Discharge. Got milk, Bitch?

* * *

**Outtake Five:**

Randak and Nilto sat down with Kaya jumping into her father's lap. Principal Torvis looked at the family and forced a smile upon his face. "Darryl Randak is it?" Randak nodded silently. Torvis turned his attention to the young woman. "Ayako Nilto?" That knowing smirk never left her face as she nodded too. What were they? He knew they were Turks, but what kind? A swordfighter and a mage? That kind of didn't seem right. Shaking away his thoughts, Torvis began his prepared speech. "Your daughter is overall a very lovely student--"

"Cut the crap," Randak interrupted. "What right do you have telling my daughter that she can't say a simple grace before lunch?"

Ooooh, right to the chase. "Well, you see sir, this school tends to the educational needs of students from many different backgrounds..."

Nilto (pulls Super Soaker filled with Holy Water out from under her cloak and begans soaking Torvis with it): THE POWER OF CHRISTUS COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRISTUS COMPELS YOU!

Mystic: CUT! Nilto...um, let's not waste Holy Water, okay?

Nilto: He's a demon!

Mystic: No, he's an actor.

AT: Wow, crazy exorcist you got there, Mystic.

Kaya (throwing cleansing powder on AT): My Mommy is NOT crazy!

AT (hissing): My eyes! My eyes! I'm blind!

Queen: Oh boy.

* * *

**Outtake Six:**

"If I used that cleansing powder on you, Mr. Torvis," Nilto suggested with a cocky grin. "How long would you be unable to see?"

"A very long time." Kaya exclaimed. "All I wanted to do was say grace before eating my hot dog!" She settled back onto her father's lap and crossed her arms.

Torvis: Truthfully, Kaya, I do, too. The Planet only knows what's in those things! I've heard stories of how hotdogs are made, and let me tell you, it takes a lot of faith to eat one.

Mystic (mouth opened): Whoa...WHAT?! You're supposed to be against prayer in school!

Torvis: Well, not that's hypocritical. How can I be against it when I do it myself?

Kaya (grinning): I like him. He's a nice man now.

AT: I STILL CAN'T SEE!

Queen (texting Kadaj)

* * *

**Outtake Seven:**

Reno grinned. "Az got his dad's muscles and his mom's temper. Kids should know not to mess with him by now."

"They like setting him off. Especially the girls, since he won't hit 'em." She smiled fiercely. "Andi and I take care of them for him. See?"

(Axys grabs random extra girl and starts wailing on her)

Queen (watching with a smile): Good practice for the kid.

Mystic: Uh, I think the little girl stopped moving. Maybe we should stop her before she gets too hurt.

Queen: Nah. Reno's got his Restore and Full Life materia, dontcha Red?

Reno: Yep! Right...(reaching into pockets) uh, hey! Who stole my materia?

Somewhere in the rafters: Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

All: Yuffie!

AT: Quick! Before the kid dies, have her sign a liability waiver saying that she will not hold AmazonTurk Productions responsible for any injury sustained that could result in serious incompacitation and/or death!

Mystic: Where are they?

AT: I don't know! I still can't see!

Rude: Here.

Mystic (gets girl to sign liability waiver): Got it!

Axys: Can I finish beating her up now?

Queen: Knock yourself out, Kid.

* * *

**Outtake Eight:**

The pieces didn't bother him, but he could see where somebody not used to this sort of thing would find it disturbing. Moonflower, obviously, did not.

"I'm going to submit at least one of her pieces to the National Art Show in June. Axys is good enough to win first prize!"

"That's cool, Moonflower." Reno smiled. "Now, where's your stash?"

Moonflower: Pardon?

Reno: Your stash? Of hash? Where is it?

Moonflower: I don't know...

Reno: Look, Lady. Anyone who is not a Turk or seriously fucked in that head that thinks my kids art is not disturbing, has got to be getting fucked off something. Now, hand it over, cos I seriously need to toke up.

Queen: RANDOM DRUG SCREENING!

Reno: Shit. Wait! I'm clean! I go first.

Queen (smirking): No, you're last.

Reno: You...are evil.

AT: I CAN SEE! It's a miracle.

Mystic (grumbling): Took you long enough.

AT: What? Who said that?

Mystic (facepalm)

* * *

**Outtake Nine:**

Continuing on, he turned a corner and pointed to a charred spot on the floor. "And this is where Axys burned the effigy of Ethan Nadair," he grinned. "Gods, that girl is such a freakin' pyro."

Tseng studied the spot, his hands clasped behind his back in thought. "Indeed," he agreed.

"But it got our point across," Paulo said lowly.

"And that would be?"

Paulo turned his face up to the man who had saved him and given him a new life. "You fuck with one of us, you fuck with all of us," he stated.

Kandi: I swear to Shiva, that kid has got to be Tseng's bio Spawn.

Akalara: No fucking doubt about it. Remember N.C.'s initiation mission? Her target was some fucker that was harassing Elena

N.C.: That was a cool first assignment. One-on-one with the Bossman. In and out, lots of blood.

Kandi (snorting): Perfect description for losing your killing virginity there, N.C.

N.C. (blushing): No! I didn't mean it like that! I lost my virginity to Demxyx!

Demyx (looking up from buffet table with a grin): Yep! I got that!

AT (clearing throat): As interesting as this conversation is, and N.C., I want details later, WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH THIS SCENE?

Queen (snickering): You've lost control of your characters.

Mystic (giggling): Bad Amazon!

Paulo: Yo, At. Can I get something to eat? I'm hungry, Man.

AT (sighing): Yeah, let's take a break. Y'all are really starting to irritate me.

(enter Sephiroth)

Sephiroth: Good day, Ladies.

AT/Queen/Mysic: GENERAL!

Queen (leaping from directors chair): I called him! He's mine! (Sephiorth is dragged back to Stage 69 where Queen proceeds to 'sex him up')

Akalara: HEY! That's my man! He fathered MY son! Give him back!

AT (grabbing Akalara): Keep in mind, Green Bitch, that woman over there, created you. One word from her, and in the next installment of Operation: Assassination, your ass will be toast. Got it memorized?

Axel: My line!

Mystic: What the hell? Where are all these characters coming from?

AT (whispering): Don't question the good fortune. Maybe Disney and Squeenix died and went to Hell and they are flocking to the ones they love and write them so well.

Mystic: Oh...(grabs Axel and drags him to Stage 69-1/2 and proceeds to molest him)

AT: Gentleman...and, uh ladies...I wash my hands of this weirdness.

Jack Sparrow: My peanut...er, line!

AT: (facepalms)

* * *

**Outtake Ten:**

"With the exception of Sephiroth's son, of course," Torvis said with a nervous smile. Tseng glared at him in a way that made Torvis' bowels loosen. If this continued, he was going to shit himself.

"If you utter another word of that boy's parentage again, I swear to the mighty god Leviathan I will remove your small intestine through your nasal passage," he growled out.

Torvis' face paled and he began sweating profusely. Suddenly, he broke wind and a foul smell came from him. Tseng stepped back, trying to keep a straight face as he turned to the directors.

Tseng: I believe, Ladies, that I just scared the shit out of your principal. Quite literally.

Torvis (blushing): It's true.

AT (laughing hysterically): Woot, Bossman!

Queen: Way to go, Tseng-sama!

Mystic: YAY! Oh. But who's going to clean it up?

AT (tapping chin): Hmmm...who do we hate in the FF-VII franchise? Who, who, who?

Queen: Palmer?

AT: Too lardy.

Mystic: Scarlet?

AT: Too whorey. But I like her choice of color. Hmm...(a slow evil grin begins to spread across AT's face)

Queen: Uh oh. (evil grin forming on Queen's face as well) I know that look.

Mystic: (grinning evilly as well) Is that person here?

AT: We have magical fictional powers. Of course she's here. (lets out ear piercing whistle) Yo! Aeris(th)! Get your pink ass out here!

(enter Aeris(th), wearing Aunt Jemima do-rag)

Aeris(th): You summoned me, oh great conjugators of the written word?

Queen (laughing): You brain washed her!

Mystic: Sweet! Is she like a mindless shell that just takes orders from us?

AT: Yep! Aeris(th), clean up Torvis' shit pants.

Aeris(th) (bowing): As you command.

AT: Where's your Cetran powers now, Bitch?

Queen (holding up bottle): I stole them and I'm going to sell them on ePay.

Mystic: And all proceeds will go to the Society to Promote the Consumption of Bovine Discharge.

AT: Great community service, Ladies. This should help get rid of that public drunkeness charge on our records.

* * *

**Outtake Eleven:**

Rufus looked over to Lily who was chuckling quietly. "Instead of a backpack, he brings a small briefcase to school?" When it came to being completely anal, nobody could top Rufus and Tseng the Bossman. However, mini-Rufus was easily giving the two grown men a run for their large amounts of money.

"Of course, dad." Bryce answered matter-of-factly. "A briefcase organizes important papers better and makes me look more important."

Lily praised her son by massaging his shoulders. "The class president is supposed to look important." The exotic beauty smiled at Rufus. "Right, Sir?"

Rufus: This kid is the coolest! Can I keep him?

Mystic (eyes bugging): Uh, yeah. He is your son, Rufus.

Rufus: No shit? For real? Far out!

AT/Queen (screaming in horror): WHO ARE YOU?!

Mystic: What have you done with Rufus?! Rufus does not say 'far out'!!! I'm scared!

AT/Queen (holding each other in fear)

(real Rufus enters, shotgun in hand)

Rufus: Reno, the disguise materia, if you will.

(enter real Reno)

Reno: Dude, Bossman. Not me.

Rufus (confused): Then who is that?

Sephiroth (casting Dispel): Zackary.

Zack (grinning mischievously): I just wanted to be in the feature, Man.

Rufus: By ruining my reputation with surfer jargon?

Zack: Uh, yeah.

Andria (grabs Zack's hand): C'mon, Dad. I'll show you how to make mustard gas in the science labs.

Zack (grinning): Cool!

Mystic: Saved by the Spawn.

AT (crying): Rufus does not say 'far out'! I'm scarred for life.

Queen: I need a drink.

* * *

**Outtake Twelve:**

The woman gasped at the sight of the famous leader of Shinra. "Mr. President!" Mrs. Nadair smiled at her impending victory. Once the handsome president heard that one of his Turks had harmed a little boy, that bitch with emerald hair would be gone for good, along with that freak of a child.

"I told you to leave." Rufus said again. This was one man who did not like to tell people twice. "I will warn you now, that if I learn about one more incident involving your son; Ethan will be permanently expelled from this school and you will be considered wanted: dead or alive." The president shoved his finger in her face, reveling in the way her pretty face paled. "Understand?"

Ethan's mother glared at the president and smacked his finger out of her face. "How dare you speak to me in such a way!" she shrieked. "I am Jayne Nadair. I will not stand idily by while your Turks go around harming innocent children. You are nothing but an egotistical, money hungry bastard and you are _just_ like your father."

The report of a shotgun rang through the office and Jayne Nadair fell back onto the ground, her blood pooling on the carpet. Rufus sneered down at her body. "I am nothing like my father," he seethed.

Mystic (mouth agape): That's not in the script.

Queen: But I like it!

AT: I am officially turned on by that scene.

Mystic: But that's not in the script! Rufus, you killed Ethan's mom!

Rufus: The bitch had the audacity to compare me to my father.

AT: Uh, Kandi? Can we do a digital Jayne Nadair for the ending scene?

Kandi (through mouthful of chocolate cupcake): Yup...no prob.

AT (to Mystic): Is that cool?

Mystic (nodding): Is it okay that I'm officially turned on by that scene, too?

Queen: I think we all were. Rufus in all his badass glory is just...

AT: Cream worthy.

All (sighing): Yeah.

* * *

**Outtake Thirteen:**

Spitting out another acrylic nail, N.C. felt her sadness turning to anger. "How dare she?" she seethed. Nate raised his head up and looked at his sister. "Who the fuck does she think she is?"

Nate's eyes widened. "N.C.?" he asked in shock.

"Whoa, Babe," Demyx said with a grin. "You okay?"

N.C. stood to her feet. "No, I'm not," she said, turning on her heel and tackling Demyx, ripping his clothes off. "I'm pissed and I need really violent sex right now!"

Reno: Oh hell yeah! Now we're talking! Another AmazonTurk Porn Production!

AT (throwing child extra at Reno): I do NOT make porn!

Reno: You're making it right now!

AT (turning back to scene): N.C.! Quit taking Demyx's clothes off! There are children present!

N.C.: Who the fuck cares?!

AT: N.C.! Stop it! Put his shirt back...whoa. (blinks) Demyx has great abs.

Mystic/Queen (drooling): Uh huh.

AT (watching scene): Uh, Spawn and extra kids?

Minors: Yeah?

AT (passes them a credit card): Go get some ice cream, or GSP's for you all.

Andria: I already have one.

Bryce: Me too.

Axys: Yep.

AT: Then go buy a mo-ped, but just LEAVE!

(exit all actors under 18...except N.C.)

AT (reads above action): OH SHIT! N.C.! You're only seventeen!

N.C.: Today's my birthday. I'm eighteen! (goes down on Demyx)

Demyx (screams in ecstacy)

Queen: That has got to be one of the hottest sounds I've ever heard.

Sephiroth: Other than when I do that?

Queen: Oh yeah.

AT: I want copies of this. Demyx is hot!

Mystic (reaching out): Me want! Me want!

Rude: You people are never going to finish this feature.

All: SHUT UP!

Rude (cries and runs away)

AT: Damn it. We hurt his feelings.

Queen: He must be feeling left out. He didn't have a part in this fic.

Mystic: Poor guy.

AT: Eh, I'll molest him later with cookies. He'll be fine. (eats popcorn and watches live porn)

* * *

**Outtake Fourteen:**

N.C. smiled at her and gave Tseng a thankful look. "Thank you, Ms. Forsythe," she said.

The young woman laughed. "Please, call me Pam," she said, gesturing for N.C. and Nate to accompany her.

Tseng smirked and pulled out his cell phone again. "Elena?" he said. "Send the clean up crew to the junior high section of the educational facility. Oh, and let President ShinRa know that there is an immediate opening for the position of principal. And...what are you wearing? Really? The black one with the sheer thing? Oooh, I like that one. You just took it off? Now what are you doing?"

AT (covers mouth)

Queen (covers eyes)

Mystic (covers ears)

Paulo: Gods, my dad is such a pervert.

Reno: That's...not...right.

Akalara: No it ain't.

Kandi: You should see him masturbating in the shower and screaming Elena's name out. Hot!

All (look at Kandi like she grew three heads)

Kandi (confused): What? It is.

Akalara: Why haven't you shared this with us?!

Nilto: Yeah! I like a little man/hand action!

Randak: You what?!

Nilto: Uh...I mean...uh...what?

AT: Where's that vodka truck at? I ordered that shipment and hour ago!

* * *

**Outtake Fifteen:**

But somewhere, just a little ways down the road, was a small diner. Nothing but a little hole in wall. It was a 24 hour joint that had the strongest coffee on the Planet and the best apple pie. And driving by that parking lot, one would see a red and black Harley Davidson Fatboy with a matching adult sized helmet and a black and purple child sized helmet resting on it; a midsize four door sedan in forest green; a four-wheel drive pick-up truck that had seen its share of dirt roads and sported a bumper sticker reading 'Honk if You Love the Planet'; a older model red Ferrari in mint condition; an inconspicuous black Jaguar; a bluish silver Prius; and a white Rolls Royce Corniche.

Akalara: Hang on a second!

AT: Yo.

Akalara: Okay, the Fatboy is Kandi's.

AT: Yep.

Akalara: Pick-up truck is Randak and Nilto's; Ferrari is Reno's, Jag is Tseng's.

AT: Yep.

Akalara: Prius is N.C.'s and the Rolls Royce is Rufus'.

AT: Yep.

Queen: Uh oh...get ready for it (covers head).

Akalara (fuming): Why the FUCK do I drive a midsize four door sedan in forest green?! Why can't I have a badass ride?!

Queen: Not good.

Mystic: Wait! Didn't Joel pimp out her ride?

AT: Yep. Joel, kindly explain to the Green Bitch about her car.

Joel (in mechanic's overalls, covered in grease): It's unsuspecting, see? Twin bazookas under the chasis; rocket launchers out the tail pipes. And check this out! (hits remote and helicopter blades pop out of the top and back of the car) Built in helicopter feature for aerial advantage.

Azrael: COOL! Mom, our car is so wicked!

Akalara: Whoa. I mean...whoa.

Lily (grabs Joel and takes him to Stage 69 and plays with his monkey wrench)

Mystic: We're all horny around here, aren't we?

Queen: Yeah, pretty much.

AT: I know I am.

Reno: It's the Essence of Reno. Makes everyone feel a little bow chica bow bow!

Mystic: Shut up.

Reno: Giggity!

* * *

**Outtake Sixteen:**

Kandi shrieked in protest. "My pie!" she wailed, brushing the salt off the dessert. "You are an evil man!"

The president chuckled. "I get that a lot," he said. "Like water off a duck's back, Kandi."

"Bitch," she grumbled, trying to salvage her pie.

"Children," Nilto said sweetly, the red in her eyes building to a raging inferno. "You are TWO SECONDS AWAY FROM COMPLETE AND TOTAL ANNIHILATION! I WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOU!"

Randak (tosses Nilto over his shoulder, takes her back to Stage 69 where muffled groans, screaming, chains, whips, a chocobo and a sacrificial lamb can be heard)

Kaya: Mommy?

Nilto: Mommy's fine honey! Drink your milkshake!

Queen (to Mystic): Think she's ever walked in on them?

Mystic: Hope not. Poor kid would be scarred for life.

AT (sneaks over toStage 69 and peeks around): HOLY SHIVA MOTHER OF SNOW CONES, RANDAK HAS A TAIL! Wow...that's a good use for it!

Mystic (paling): Oh boy! He's been reading 'Tantric'. Got that idea from Zidane.

AT: That is so COOL!

Randak/Nilto: GO AWAY!

Queen: I wonder if I can get a tail for Kadaj?

Mystic: Oh, he'd be totally cute with a tail.

Queen: I know, right?

* * *

**Outtake Seventeen:**

Kandi spoke into a head set, monitoring Niki's position in the vents via the GPS tracking chip in her cellphone, telling her exactly where to drill the holes. Sage and Ram started to feed the cameras into the holes and Kali secured the ends with the small power supplies. The cameras were independently powered and did not rely on the school's electricity. Once the cameras had been set up, Kandi pulled her laptop out of her jacket pocket and checked each connection, rotating each camera. Each view was perfect.

She zoomed in on a particular camera, seeing a red-head with extreme black eyeliner, tears streaking down his face as he lay against what appeared to be sheets under a blanket.

Reno: You people are lucky she even performed for you! LEAVE BRITANY ALONE!

Kandi (snorts and chokes, dying of laughter)

AT (tosses Phoenix Down on Kandi): Reno, what are you doing?

Reno: My impersonation of a certain BoobTube video?

Mystic: Oh boy...we could be in serious trouble.

Queen: Yep, and Reno, if that particular person comes after us, we're sicking him on your ass.

Reno: Wait! That was a GUY?!

All: YES!

Reno: Oh...he's pretty hot.

Kandi: His eyeliner is always perfect. Mine smudges like a motherfucker. I wonder if he could give me any tips?

AT: Guys always do their eyeliner better than girls. It sucks.

Mystic: Strange phenomenom.

Queen: Yeah, Kadaj does his eyeliner better than me. It always looks good on him.

AT: He looks hot in eyeliner.

Queen: Oh yeah.

Mystic: Agreed. Kadaj is hot. Let's go molest him!

All: Right!

Sephiroth (calling Kadaj's cell phone): Run. Run for your life. Three extremely horny women are coming for you. Go! Go now!

* * *

**_AT (staring at footage on outtake reel): Wow. We're we all high?_**

**_Queen (shaking her head): I don't know. Seems like it in retrospect, doesn't it?_**

**_Mystic: You know, Moonflower DID give us that Opium incense._**

**_AT: You don't think...?_**

**_Queen: Nah, she wouldn't...would she?_**

**_Mystic: I don't know. Let's ask the Magical Leopleuredon what he thinks._**

**_Leopleuredon: Grrraaah...graaaah...ggggrrrraaah!_**

**_AT (blinking): I suddenly know the way to Candy Mountain._**

**_Queen: The land of sweets and joy...and joyness?_**

**_Mystic: Let's go!_**

**_Rude: Uh...you guys do know there's no such thing as Candy Mountain, right?_**

**_AT/Mystic/Queen: Shun the non-believer! SSSSSSHHHUUUUUNNNN!!!_**

**_Rude (runs away crying)_**

* * *

**_A/N: And thus ends the craziest thing I've ever written. Uh, if you're still here, I commend your bravery in the face of such idiocy. Cake and ice cream do odd things to me. So does being surrounded by a McDonald's PlayPlace full of children under the age of 5 at my neice's birthday party. Reviews are welcomed, flames are expected. lol...thanks for reading!_**


End file.
